The Big Latch On

This past Saturday, Baby and I (along with Boyfriend for support) participated in the Big Latch On event that took place at the Galleria.  NBC did a nice write up and as of right now, there aren't too many negative comments which is a pleasant surprise.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Moms-Across-World-Breastfeed-Together-127068503.html#comments

All across the world, mothers were going to nurse their babes from 10:30-10:31 in order to break the world record of the most amount of mothers nursing at one time. The event's purpose is to raise awareness and support for breastfeeding and I am all about supporting every woman in the way they want to feed their child, especially breastfeeding.  It makes me very sad/angry/frustrated/disappointed when I hear people spout out uneducated or ignorant things in regards to breastfeeding in public or really just breastfeeding in public.  I've already written an entire post about that previously, so I won't go back down that road, but I do believe attending events like this which focus on the major positives will help make strides towards normalizing breastfeeding.

There were several locations in the Dallas area that were taking place, I selected the Galleria location because it was closest to me.  Originally the plan was to meet in the food court area near the ice rink but the night before it was announced that we were moved to the community room, as requested by Galleria management.  I questioned the motives on Galleria's part and it was explained to me that they weren't trying to hide us or anything but it was that there is an issue with vendors having organized meetings in the public areas.  Personally I don't buy it and do feel like they heard that there was going to be 50 something moms and their families meeting and the purpose is to nurse and wanted to be "supportive" by offering the community room but not supportive enough to tell us we were violating their terms and couldn't do this in the public.  I'm not one to cause huge waves (I believe in peaceful protesting :)) so I just accepted it.  According to the women who organized it they didn't blame the Galleria so I will try and trust that,  but how could we not feel hidden when we are directed down a long hall and then told to go through a storage room that holds Christmas decorations and then finally to the room?

 

That issue aside, it was a great event.  There were 52 nursing mothers there and out of those 39 mothers were able to be added to the count.  The rules were that the baby had to be latched on for the entire minute for it to count.  I was actually pretty surprised, Baby did stay on the whole time.  The last time she had nursed before that was a week prior so I wasn't sure if she would or not.  For the official count, we had to hold one hand up while nursing, if they popped off then you couldn't be counted to the record.

I love doing these events.  I wish I had gotten more involved in organizations like this earlier on, now that Baby is almost fully weaned I can still be very supportive but not active.  I do hope that I can help turn at least just one person's opinion on breastfeeding from negative to the very least neutral.  I hope that I can normalize breastfeeding and help women in the future feel like they don't have to hide as I do at times.  I hope that by the time Baby has children and if she decides to breastfeed, that it is normal, supported, and she doesn't feel like she has to fight for her right to simply feed her child.

No matter what though, these events give you a sense of solidarity with other women.  I'm so proud to say I have a few wonderful close girlfriends who nurse as well and it has deepened our relationship to understand what it is like to be a breastfeeding mother. 

It's been fun...

I used the same subject line in an email I sent out to my coworkers letting them know that this week would be my last at Dave and Buster's.  I can honestly say that it has been fun, very fun.  You would hope that a company that prides itself (and makes it's money) off of being fun would deliver the same experience for their employees and they exceeded expectations.

This coming Saturday would have been my fourth anniversary with the company and it is very bittersweet to leave.  D&B was my first "real" job.  I had worked at fast food joints, different childcare centers, as a nanny (which is just as real as any job) but this was the first 8-5 gig at a major corporation that I ever worked at.  I started out as the front desk receptionist.  That was amazing training and I was able to meet almost every one who worked for the corporate office.  I had the opportunity to learn about all the different departments in a corporate office and identify what areas I am really passionate about.

A little after a year being with the company I was offered the opportunity to join a brand new department as a sales person in our Special Events Sales Center.  I was pretty surprised to be offered the job-I'm not exactly what you would call a natural sales person.  I avoid confrontation, I'm not pushy, and I never could try to convince someone to spend money they don't seem to have.  Luckily as a company that type of sales was never promoted and we always tried to make the experience as fun as possible from start to finish.

What I appreciate most about my time here was the people though.  I met so many amazing people, people that are so much more than coworkers to me.  When I have good news, some of my coworkers are the first that come to mind who I want to tell.  They were all there for me day in and out with whatever issues I had going on in my life.  Everyone genuinely cared about me, Baby and Boyfriend.  They were interested in hearing my stories, no matter how silly.  I truly connected with my coworkers and I am so sad that I will not see them daily anymore.

I also feel like I have the most amazing boss in the world.  She has lead our team, almost blindly at times, to grow from a brand new operation and a small group of four to almost 20.  She is one of those bosses that stands back and lets you do your thing, and everyone works hard because they want to make her proud.  She recognized the strengths for each person and worked to promote those behaviors instead of focusing on our weaknesses.  She made being a working mother easy.  Really easy.  I never once felt that I had to chose work or family, if I ever wanted time off it was granted, if I ever needed time off there wasn't even second thought about it. She has already told me if I find myself regretting my choice to leave that I am very much welcomed back and to just call.  I believe her and I would be happy to come back. 

I'm really going to miss it here.  I look around at all the women (and three men) who share this little corner of our building and I can honestly say I adore and enjoy each one of them.  I have watched many come and go through our department and I never thought I would be one of the people going.  I was offered an opportunity at another outstanding company that I feel will not only benefit me in the long term, but will benefit my family immensely.

Still, it is going to be so hard to say goodbye to this place.  The memories I have here are so powerful.  I look across my desk and the pink exercise ball that I would sit and bounce on all day to help spring myself into labor.  The maraca sitting in my file folder reminding me of our chili cook off (which we didn't win, I guess D&B likes beans in their chili, what a sham).  Packing up my desk I came across at least 20 cards written to me over the last four years with proclamations of gratitude and friendship. The tissues I kept in my desk to dab at my eyes from crying so hard I cried, almost daily.

There are experiences in your life that just change you.  My time here developed me professionally and personally.  I was so very lucky to spend the last four years and have nothing but wonderful and positive things to say about Dave and Buster's.  When people ask me if I'm going to miss this place, all I can really say is, "You Got It!"

Old McDonald Had a Farm...

A couple of weekends ago, Baby and I decided to say goodbye to Boyfriend and join BFF (apparently I like people with 'B' names) at her grandmother's farm in Shepard, TX.  This was only the second time we have left Boyfriend home alone to fend for himself-cooking, cleaning and taking care of the dog.  Who am I kidding, he does that every day!  Boyfriend just didn't have our company and he didn't have to pretend to like my avocado egg salad (thanks Pioneer Woman!).

I will admit I was a little worried for the drive down, Baby has only taken a car trip once before when she was around 7 months and luckily she slept for the whole time that trip.  This time we were traveling during her most active period, between her afternoon nap and bedtime.  She was a champ though, and kept herself entertained reading books.  And eating.  Food is always a great distraction!

We stopped for dinner about halfway there, I figured Baby was starving since it was already 8:00.  She did eat her french fries shaped like happy faces (which as a side note-why do they have to make french fries shaped like happy faces?  I don't think you have to convince a kid to eat french fries by making them into stupid shapes) but she was far more interested in walking and stretching her legs.  Since we were in a room by ourselves, I didn't mind letting her stand next to our table but she saw a water fountain that was in the middle of the restaurant and the water baby that she is, was drawn to it.  BFF's mom had some pennies so we taught Baby how to throw pennies which is her favorite new trick.  Baby only would take one coin at a time and run from the fountain and back, collecting just one coin each time.  She was so cute doing it, I think BFF's mom donated at least $10 to the restaurant to let her throw coins in.

 

Thankfully, once we started the second portion of the car ride, Baby fell asleep pretty quickly and remained asleep until we arrived.  Once we arrived, she played in her new surroundings for a bit but I could tell she was quickly getting tired again so I decided to try and get her to bed.  I was a little nervous how it would work out, she normally sleeps in her crib by herself and when we travel sleeping is never really great for any of us since she does not like to be touched.  That night though, I just played songs from my iPod and she fell asleep after some tossing and turning.

The next morning, we woke up and Baby had her usual breakfast of blueberries and bananas and BFF's grandmother made us blueberry pancakes (again, with the 'B's!).  Baby was obviously itching to go run around outside so I got her dressed and we walked around to meet all the animals.  Evelyn quickly became obsessed with Quackers, the newest farm resident.

BFF's grandmother also had geese but they actually seemed to hate Baby, every time they saw her they would start honking very loudly and angry sounding.  Baby tried to feed the horses a treat, but she would get nervous just as they were going in for the carrot.  So instead she let me and would get really excited when they started crunching away.

My daughter is silly though-of all the different animals that were on the farm, she loved the dogs the most.  BFF's grandmother has two, but she was just in love with the bigger of the two-Alpha.  Alpha is an eight month old Great Pyrenees and was very excited to see Evelyn.  I just loved how Alpha would hang out on the gate, resting her "elbows" like a person, waiting to be pet.

We also did Evelyn's favorite activity-swimming!!  She is such a water baby, and a scary one at that.  She has absolutely no fear of the water and refuses to be held in the pool, which is an obvious danger.  We have tried several different things, life jackets, swim suits with flotation padding but nothing really fits because she is so small.  I finally caved and put the water wings on them even though I am (was) against them (being a lifeguard/swim instructor you are taught that they are NOT good) but this was finally the trick to achieve a happy balance of letting her be independent and being safe.  She really loves just floating around, kicking, splashing and blowing bubbles.

All in all, it was a really fantastic weekend.  I loved hanging out with the BFF and her family and I am so appreciative that her grandmother welcomed us in her home.  It really was relaxing and I think a good little break for us all.  Even Boyfriend took advantage of the child free weekend and lived it up as a bachelor-who cleans, does laundry and shampoos carpet!  I am a lucky woman :)



Pinkberry!

If you follow me on Facebook, you probably see me post random things on behalf of Crowdtap.  I know it looks like spam, but I really do love this site.  Basically you answer polls on your spending and lifestyle habits.  There are different levels of membership and different badges you can earn, as well as cash prizes.  There are also different companies that will give you gift cards to visit their business with you and friends-no strings attached!  I recently was offered the opportunity to take a small group of friend to Pinkberry and have a Style Your Pinkberry party. 

It ended up being a small group-myself, the BFF, Boyfriend, and Baby.  We arrived and the very first task was to pick out our Pinkberry treats to match our accessories.  BFF chose original tart and had on a berry colored necklace which she obviously chose berries to match, a black headband and selected chocolate chips to represent that, and finally she picked granola to match her straw wedges.

Boyfriend was being lame and refused to accessorise.  He then got me when he told me the only accessory he needs is his wedding ring, after all it is the most important accessory anyone could have.  How can I argue with that?  There really were not any toppings that went with a ring, so he selected a parfait based off the fact that it is different "rings" of toppings and yogurt. 

Right before our Pinkberry party, we had taken some family portraits so I had be on the softer side of accessories.  I had on muted colors and a simple necklace and gold and black bracelet.  I went with their new summer flavor, salted carmel to match the colors I was wearing.  My toppings were also chocolate chips, granola and nuts. 

Now for the cutest-Baby!  Being a baby and all, she doesn't wear accessories often but she can wear sunglasses like none other.  So to match her rocking Hello Kitty pink polka dot sunglasses, she selected watermelon yogurt with strawberry and melon pearls. 

We all really did enjoy our treats.  I don't traditionally like the original tart flavor but Pinkberry's original flavor is sweeter than most and I did enjoy it.  The only flavor that wasn't a hit in our group was Baby's the watermelon was just a little too sweet for us.  Baby didn't mind though.  And she went nuts over the pearls.  She just kept digging for them and was VERY sad when there wasn't anymore. 

Pinkberry isn't where we typically go for yogurt, but only because we have one of the other guys closer.  I think after tonight and seeing how much Baby enjoyed her pearls (and how much all of us enjoyed our own creations) we will make the trip to Pinkberry more often. 

I know this sounds like just one big ad for Pinkberry and Crowdtap, but I just wanted to share my experience with everyone and hopefully some of y'all might want to join Crowdtap after reading this.  It really is a great experience!  If you click on the link below, it will get you set up with your first $1!

http://bit.ly/g12P0d

Tonight Baby and I met up with the BFF and her boyfriend for dinner.  We were right across the street from Central Market so I decided that I had to have a slice of my favorite cake and drove on over.  As I am walking into the store, I saw a woman sitting on a bench crying but trying very hard to not pull attention to herself.  I don't know why I stopped, I don't know what made me walk over to her and ask her if I could help her.  I normally avoid situations like that, but something called me over to her.

She assured me she was fine, but I found myself pushing her to see if I could help her.  She finally admitted that she was laid off from her job three weeks ago, unemployment has not kicked in and she was not approved for emergency food stamps yet.  She had four children and the two older boys had not eaten in two days.  She didn't ask for any help, but I asked her what I could do and she refused anything.  I told her that I could understand if she didn't want me to assist her, but I wanted to make sure that her kids were fed and asked her to please let me buy her some food to bring home.  She finally agreed and Baby and I went through the store and loaded a cart up with bread, peanut butter, jelly, apples, milk, pasta and jarred sauce.

As we were walking through the store, she kept going between statements of she wasn't a bum to extreme gratitude.  She told me about her four children (ages 9, 7, 3 and 14 months-the same age as Baby).  She was so proud of her children, her eldest two just finished school for the year and both had made honor roll.  We talked about our babies and where they were both developmentally. If you saw this woman on the street you would have never guessed or assumed the troubles she was in.  She was dressed well (she told me later on she had walked to Central Market to apply for a job), she was articulate. 

After paying for the groceries, she hugged me and thanked me with more appreciation than I think I have ever received in my life.  I apologized for not being able to do more, I only was able to provide a small amount of food for a family of 6.  I regret not buying more, I should have ignored her protests.  I wish I had thought to get her a gift card (though at Central Market it wouldn't have gone far).

I realize I can't save every hungry person out there.  But the thought of her children not being able to eat for two days smacked me across the face.  Here I was going to the store just to buy a slice of cake (which costs the same amount to buy the ingredients to bake an entire cake) and her children hadn't had any food in TWO days.  I am ashamed that I forget how lucky and privileged I am.  How blessed I am that I have never had to worry about where my next meal will come from.

It makes me think about how I want to raise Baby, how I want her to have the feeling of being blessed and the appreciation of what we have.  I don't want to go as far to one extreme and every time she wastes food tell her, "there are children out there that don't even have food" because I don't believe that is productive.  I want Baby to realize how lucky we are and strive to help others in need because it is the right thing to do, not because she feels guilty.  I hope that Baby develops the a sense of community and the desire to help others.  I wish for her that when she sees a chance to help someone she takes action.  I want this to be a part of her heart, but I don't know how to instill this in her. 

That woman and her family are going to be in my heart for a long time to come.  I know she was so appreciative of the small tokens I was able to offer her and I know that I gave her some peace knowing her children were not going to go hungry tonight.  I just wish I had communicated to her how much I appreciate her letting me know her situation, letting me help her, and allowing me to gain the perspective that I very much needed.

One Year

Bab has gone from this:

To this over the last year:

I really don't understand how we are already here.  Time should always feel the same way, it is a constant.  Yet, this past year went by faster than any other and I can only imagine that the next few years are going to be even quicker.

While the first year was harder than I ever imagined, it was also easier than I ever though being a parent could be.  Baby really is the easiest baby in the world, and I'm not just saying that.  Sometimes I feel like I can't even claim to have gone through the tribulations of first year parenthood because I had it so good.  Baby was sleeping through the night (well the technical definition of STTN, 6 hours) at three weeks and while we have had a few weeks worth of nights accumulated over the past year, it has held true since. 

She is so unbelievably happy.  She wakes up literally clapping and saying, "Yaaay!!" and I can only assume it because she is just so happy to be with us.  I remember what I was like as a preteen and teenager, so I'm pretty sure I only have so many years of this happy child.  I hope that my memories of her now will propel me to get through those what I can only assume will be tormented years.

While I was pregnant, Boyfriend and I would pick the traits we wanted our child to have from each of us.  After his long eyelashes (which she did get!) I wanted her to have his sense of humor and gift of wit.  He was Most Witty 2002 after all.  I am so proud to say she is funny and already is showing to be a comedian, just like her father.  She very purposely does things to make us laugh, and if we don't do it she will keep doing so until we appease her.  She loves to see people laugh and smile and I love that about her.

The first year of parenthood has also been kinder than I had thought it would be to my relationship with Boyfriend.  One of the things that I was petrified about having children was how it would hurt our relationship.  I thought that introducing another member to the family would rock things and it would take forever to get back to our happy place.  Adding Baby though was a seamless transition and it has never felt as though it has hurt us in anyway.  Sure, I do miss it being able to go out on dates or having dinner with just each other.  But I love doing those things with Baby more and luckily, Boyfriend does too.

I've mentioned this before, but Boyfriend really has become a much better father than I have ever expected.  I obviously wouldn't have had children with him if I thought he would be a horrible parent, but it is no secret that Boyfriend can be less than patient sometimes.  I have never seen him though show any sign of that to Baby, she apparently has melted his heart into one big puddle on the floor.  While I'm getting for work and he and Baby are cuddling in bed, I catch him just staring at her and giving her kisses all over.  I can't even begin to express how grateful I am that he had almost the first year with her full time, that just helped seal the bond I knew they would have.

I also can't talk about her first year without mentioning her grandmother.  Not only is Nana the typical spoiling grandmother, but Baby adores her to no end.  If we are having a bad afternoon, all I have to do is put Nana on the speakerphone and she perks up.  Baby is extremely lucky (as are we) to have her only two streets away and that she is able to spend so much time with her.  Baby is always fashionable (even if it isn't something I would have picked out) and well fed (even if Nana did give her some ice cream).  Every child should have someone as awesome as Baby's grandmother.

I'm not sure when I will accept that she is no longer a baby and starting to become a toddler.  I guess as my own mother says to me, she will always be my baby.

Every good blogger has to have at least one controversial post in their archives, so I figured it was probably time for me to go ahead and bang one out.  Today’s topic: nursing in public (NIP).

Now I know this is one of those topics that people have deep, fundamental beliefs on what is “right” and what is “wrong” so I’m not going to try and convince anyone who thinks nursing in public is wrong that it isn’t.  I respect every person’s beliefs, even if I disagree.  I feel like though, a lot of the people who are against NIP have several beliefs that just aren’t true and would love to offer some insight into the commonly (incorrect) arguments against breastfeeding in public.

The major argument that I hear from people who do not agree with NIP is that we should just go to the bathroom.  I really hate this argument, just as I’m sure every single other breastfeeding mother does.  First off, it is just completely and totally unsanitary, especially in public bathrooms. I’m not at all a germ freak, I never once asked people to use hand sanitizer with Baby as a newborn, nor do I think we ever used the bottle at home that was given to us at a baby shower.  In a bathroom though, there often no other place to sit than toilets which I would hope even people who do not agree with NIP would agree that isn’t acceptable for a child to feed there.  Society would NEVER ask a mother feeding a child a bottle to feed the baby in the bathroom, the same standards should be held for all babies.

I also hate the argument of, “Sure it is natural but you don’t see me urinating in public”.  I won’t even get into the ignorance of that statement and explain why it isn’t even comparable.  However if we really want to go with that argument, consider this.  We make special concessions for  babies.  We don’t blink an eye when pee or poop their pants in public. Why should we get upset when they need to eat in public?

Of course, I have also heard the argument that the mother should just pump a bottle so that when they are out they can feed that to the baby.  I actually understand why people suggest this-prior to being a breastfeeding mother myself, I had thought this same thing. Unfortunately it just doesn’t work that way.  I really wish it did because then I wouldn’t have to consider what I wear every day for its nursability.  First off, some mother’s just do not respond to a pump at all.  Right now, I have found myself to be in that position and would not be able to pump a bottle to provide for Baby while we are out.  Not all breastfed babies will take a bottle either and I do not think it is fair to ask a mother to compromise their breastfeeding relationship so that they do not offend others. Additionally, a mother simply just can’t replace a bottle for a feeding-the milk is still produced and has to be expressed, either by their child or a pump or risk not only discomfort but serious infection.  I can only imagine that if someone is uncomfortable seeing a mother breastfeeding, they would be even more so watching a mother pump.

To me, that is actually what the whole debate boils down to.  People who do not agree with breastfeeding in public are uncomfortable.  And they shouldn’t be.  The breast did not start out as something sexual, it has a very real purpose.  I can not fathom why there is even uproar about a mother nursing in public when there is not only no clamor over a woman in a low cut top, in fact, as a society we celebrate her.  The honest truth is, often a woman nursing shows less breast than a woman wearing a bikini top. I have been out many times and people around me are completely clueless to the fact that I am breastfeeding.  I do make an effort to nurse in areas that are secluded not because I don’t want to offend people, but because Baby is easily distracted and I would prefer to feed in a quick manner so that I can continue on with whatever errand I am on.  Luckily though, the law is on my side in Texas (as with almost every state in the US) that breastfeeding in public is completely within my rights at any place I am legally allowed to be.

Boyfriend (as well as my mother and brother) will joke often that I am so vocal about nursing in public (or breastfeeding in general) because I am a tree hugger, hippie, flower child, free spirit, whatever other synonym you want to equate with a nonconformist.  It isn’t about that though, it is about my rights as a mother.  Again, I respect people’s opinions who feel like breastfeeding should be done in private only.  I do request though that my opinions are respected and allow me to parent my child in the best manner I know how without having to fight for the right to do so.