Boyfriend is out with the boys tonight so I finally got around to making a massive picture dump on Facebook.  Of course that got me started looking at old pictures and then old videos and it just  hit me how fast the past year really has flown by.  A year ago today, Boyfriend and I (7 months pregnant) were visiting Las Vegas for the first time.  We wanted to take one last vacation before Baby came and our family dynamic changed forever.

I know that everyone says time flies when you have a kid, but you can never fully understand until you have a kid how quickly your life will pass you by.  My Facebook feed is bursting with people having babies and I just want to yell and scream at them to enjoy every single second of their infant because no matter how hard you grasp at those moments, they just slip through your fingers like sand on the beach.

As much as I love how independent Baby is, I really feel like I got a shorter infanthood than most.  By six weeks, she refused to be held in a cradle position and had to be sitting up so that she could could look around and participate in the conversation.  She stopped falling asleep on us and would only sleep if she was in her bassinet or in the bed, but not on us.  Tonight though, while we were taking a shower, I picked her up to wash her hair and she just laid her head on my shoulder and fell asleep instantly.  It was a warm, cuddly, sweet moment and I just didn't want it to end.  I stood there slowly swaying to keep her asleep as long as possible, I stood there until the water started going cold. 

I feel like I'm already going crazy with nostalgia for earlier times, yet I don't want to miss out on what is happening right now.  At some point in my pregnancy, I read to never wish time away, no matter how hard it might be at the time.  I've tried to live by that-when I felt like she was nursing for hours straight (and often in reality she was) I would think to myself that it wouldn't always be that way.  Now, our nursing sessions are maybe 5 minutes, but often I feel like I'm just a trip though the drive thru.  A quick snack to tide her over until her next big meal.  I actually miss the middle of the night wakings (of course, only when I'm fully rested) when it would be just the two of us in the dark, quiet house. 

I already feel the pains of regret for not having enough pictures, enough videos.  We have not taken enough family photos, there are not enough photos of the two of us.  I only have maybe 5 photos of me breastfeeding her, and I regret not having more.  Nursing has been such a fundamentally life changing experience and it is odd to me that I didn't document it more.  I think often while nursing her to ask Boyfriend to take a picture of us, but I always make excuses.  My hair looks like crap, I look tired, usually some excuse about the way I look.

I try to just live in every moment with her, with Boyfriend.  I find myself not able to sleep during family nap time because I am too busy soaking the moments in.  I try to memorize every detail of her and how she is now.  How her hair smells, the pressure of her tiny body next to mine, the way she squeezes my finger in her sleep, the pause in her breath while she is dreaming.  I etch into my mind the way she slowly opens her eyes from a nap and looks around for a few moments and then locks eyes with me.  She immediately smiles and pops up to play.  She is unbelievably happy baby and I just want to remember it all.

Long before I became a mom, starting even before I became Teh Wifey, I worked in childcare.  I was employed at churches, daycares, YMCAs, and eventually moved onto becoming a full time nanny.  There were so many observations and lessons that I learned while working with children that were not my own, so many of my ideals and theories on raising children were formed during those years.  There are a few that I developed then that I now have discovered I was just a naïve non parent but many remained with me. 

One idea has stuck with me more than a lot of them.  What I am about to say will actually upset some parents, in fact I made this comment to one of the parents I was a nanny for their young daughter and she was not amused.  Myself now being a parent though, can confirm this 100%- raising babies pretty much is like raising dogs. 

Ok for those who are offended that I just compared your special snowflake to a dog, take the following facts into consideration:

The biggest thing new parents (regardless if you have become a parent of a human child or fur child) complain about their new addition is the sleepless nights and lack of toilet training.  They say a puppy can go the same amount of hours between potty breaks as their age in months.  As with an infant, a puppy will wake you up every few hours for a potty or feeding break.  Also in the same fashion, middle of the night wakings are not a simple open the door, potty break, back in crate/bed sleep cycle (pick baby up, feed/diaper change, back in bassinette/bed).  It is more of a open door, puppy takes FOREVER to find the perfect spot then notices fun cricket and gets distracted, then takes another five minutes to find another perfect spot, put them back in the crate/bed but they won’t lie down because now they are ready to play!! (pick up screaming baby , baby fights you on changing diaper, kicking feet, refusing to eat because the light is more interesting, lay baby down but they want to be held longer/stare at your face/sleep in your arms)  Luckily, as with both puppies and babies, this phase really does fly by and the worst of it will be only a distant memory.


Also, have you ever noticed that when your dog is young, they seem to only want to play with things that are definitely not toys?  Same with Baby.  She could be a in a room full of Consumer Report’s best toys yet all she will want to play with is the electrical plugs, your cell phone (a toy one is NOT ok), or open and close the door on her tiny fingers.  Both babies and dogs will also look at you, right before they go for a non toy and watch your reaction to see if they will get in trouble.  When you give a stern “no”, they will sit and stare at that forbidden fruit, look up at you again and then lunge for it.  Of course this elicits the whole remove baby/puppy away from dangerous “toy” for them only to crawl right back over to it and repeat cycle again move. 

One of the sweetest comparisons between the two though are that babies don’t care about your social status, what you wear, what car you drive or what the square footage of your house is.  This won’t matter to your dogs either.  Both only care about what kind of love and attention you give, and that you give it often.  With babies, and just like a dog, all you have to do is look at them and make a funny face or smile and they get excited.  A simple pat on the head (or stroke across a babe’s hair) will comfort and relax them.  They seek out your approval and want to please you.  Both puppies and babies are the best cuddle partners, with the way they curl their bodies into yours.  

There are many other things that compare babies to dogs, chewing on everything or having to keep a leash on them in public-totally joking about this one…kinda.   I’ve heard that if a couple wants to practice parenting to get a dog, and I really do feel like that is true.  I think Shrek, our very sweet yet certifiably insane dog, really did prepare us for a baby in many ways.  So far, the adjustment from going from not having a (human) child has been much smoother than going from just the two of us to our fur baby.  Of course, Shrek will remain with the mindset of a three year old, so I’m not quite sure how we will do once we pass that age with Baby, but for now things are good.

12 months of Baby

Before I start looking forward to next year, I'm going to take a few moments to reflect up on the last year, with pictures! 

January

Feburary

March

 April

 May

 June

 July

 August

 Setptember

 October

 November

 December



Love You Forever

When I was little, my mother often (and when I say often, I actually mean every night as it was one of my favorites) read me Love You Forever.  I have fond memories of her reading to me, rocking me in her arms and singing the same song the mother in the book sang to her son.  I remember giggling at the part when the mother would climb a ladder into the son's room as an adult. 

I am superstitious to a point, so I waited until I entered the second trimester to purchase anything for Baby.  The day I was officially out of the first trimester, Boyfriend and I went out and bought two items, a small toy (that Shrek immediately chewed up) and this book.  I envisioned reading this book to my own child, rocking and singing.  At some point in the pregnancy, Boyfriend decided to read the book to my swollen belly.

It was such a sweet picturesque moment, me lying in our bed, Boyfriend and Shrek were both lying next to my belly as I laid on the bed, Baby was kicking and twisting in response to her father's voice.  I was filled with happiness and was giggling at Boyfriend's version of the song.  Then he started to read the last few pages.

If you haven't read the book before, I'm going to spoil it for you; it implies that the mother dies.  Imagine me, 8 months pregnant, having this incredibly sweet moment with my budding family, reading a book about a mother dying.  I start crying and laughing, crying because it was just so darn depressing, laughing because only my mother would love reading me a book about death.  I don't know how as a child I didn't pick up on the death aspect, I suppose because of the innocence only a child has.

All the same though, I still plan on continuing the tradition of reading Love You Forever to Baby.  I mean, it can't be any more morbid than the nursery rhymes that she will sing on the playground.

10 Things

I won't even being to pretend I'm some wise woman who has a lot of insight into the meaning and purpose of life. I have however, learned a few things along the way that I hope that I can pass onto my daughter.

1.  It is ok to be cheap (I prefer the word frugal) about a lot of things.  There are some items though, that you should never purchase the off brand.  Laundry detergent, paper towels, toilet paper, and good smelling candles.  These are all things that when I try to be frugal about, I end up purchasing so much more or using twice as much as if I had just bought the name brand.  There a handful of other things, but seriously, saving $1 is not worth scratching your delicate lady bits for a month with rough toilet paper.

2.  Boyfriend and I haven't always been the best at budgeting our money.  We always pay our bills and manage to put a small amount into savings but probably not the amount we should be.  We do however, prioritize our spending to make sure that we have the best quality life possible.  We made the decision to purchase a home much smaller and less expensive than what we were approved for and drive cars that are not luxury at all yet do the job in a comfortable manner.  This has enabled us to spend the rest of money on experiences.  We probably won't die leaving Baby a large inheritance, but she will have mementos of family vacations, fine dining, and cool toys that last so much longer than the money we spent.

3.  Don't leave your partner's favorite cooking thermometer in the roast while it is still cooking.  This will ruin said thermometer and will leave you with one grumpy partner.  Especially if your roast comes out like beef jerky.  Then they will just be grumpy AND hungry.

4.  Menthol shaving cream should be reserved for men's faces only.  This is self explanatory.

5.  Really, there are so few things in life that you NEED to stress about.  Seriously.  I make a conscious choice not to stress about anything that I don't need to.  It isn't that I don't care, I do, but if it is beyond my control (stuck in traffic, someone isn't doing something they said they would, my dinner was disgusting, again) then there isn't a reason to waste energy worrying over it.  This comes especially handy when you are planning a wedding, buying a house, or having a baby.  Three of life's most stressful, but exciting, times.

6.  Along with not stressing, make a concerted effort to not waste mental energy regretting anything.  If it is done, its done.  If you did something that you now look back at and realize that it probably wasn't the best choice-don't do it again.  Again, this often makes me look like I don't care but that really isn't the case, I just want to do better next time.

7.  Have one really good thing that you can cook.  I pretty much destroy and food that isn't baking, however I am known for my Hot Wing Dip.  I'm only good at it because it is essentially mixing ingredients together and putting it in a hot oven, but all the same people love it and request it all the time.  I'll be honest and I've never once tasted it (I don't like spicy things) and it looks disgusting but it is what the people want so I always oblige.



 8.  Boyfriend is always right.  There might be a few times she argues with her Daddy that she will be right, but just trust me when I say 99% of the time he is right.  I've been down that path a few too many times with him so I would like to save her some time.

9.  In my vows to Boyfriend, I told him I would "be slow to anger and quick to forgive".  I think this is useful in all of our relationships.

10.  When you are with Boyfriend, and you start to smell something funny, don't believe him that it was Shreky.  He can only use that excuse so many times. 

Of course I can't let a Thanksgiving go by without mentioning a few things I've been thankful for this year!

First, I have the generic, obvious answer of family.  My family is seriously awesome.  Take Boyfriend for example; he is an amazing husband, father and friend.  Sometimes he still makes rookie mistakes, like today we were in bed getting ready to put Baby down for a nap.  I was admiring the cute outfit he picked out on his own:

Then we notice some extra padding in her dress.  We lift it up, and the bottoms that actually go with the dress are still attached to the dress since it is new.



I bet he won't make that mistake again!

In all seriousness though, I try and tell him on a daily basis how thankful and appreciative I am that he has become the partner he is.  Life with a new baby is hard, really, really hard and while there were some adjustments I expected, there were some I never could have even begin to comprehend and he stepped in where I could not.  He has also made sure that he nurtures and loves me beyond being a mother and doesn't allow me to be "just a mom".  He still thinks I am his hot wife, which I love!

I am thankful that somehow, even though I have a very sick, demented, dumb, crazy dog he managed to be nothing short than perfect with Baby.  Even though he might be extremely clumsy in general, with her it is obvious he takes the time to be gentle with her.  She can even hold her food right up to his face and while he will sniff it, he won't take it from her.  She adores him and I can not wait to see their relationship grow over time.  I don't think any of us could get enough of this video:

My mother.  Seriously what can I even say?  She is the typical proud grandmother, she even thinks her poops are a work of art. Ok, maybe not quite but I'm sure it isn't far off.  Thanks to her, Baby always has a stylin wardrobe, someone to spoil her when we won't, and unlimited kisses and cuddles.  Every single person should be as lucky to have a parent in their life as we do with my mom.

Now I could go on and on with shout outs to every other person in my life but I want people to actually read this.  So just know this-if you are in my life, I am thankful for you.  I mean it.

For the random things I am thankful for:

• Breastfeeding, after 6 months of torture, breastfeeding has finally become natural in the last month and a half or so.  I am thankful that I stuck with it because the rewards are so worth it. 
• My girlfriends.  I promise mine are better than yours.  Really, yours just can't compete.
• My work friends are the best ever.  It isn't fun being at work knowing Boyfriend and Baby are at home playing without me, my heart wants to be no place other than home.  Every day that I go to work though is a fun one, and it is because of my work friends.  They are a special breed of people and I adore all of them.  I can honestly say I LOVE my job and I think 95% of that is because of them.
• Fireside Pies.  Especially their burrata mozzerella crostinis. 
• Pack and plays.  Sometimes you just don't want to have your kid watching you go to the bathroom and these are super helpful for those moments.
• DVRs.  Boyfriend and I watch a lot of TV and hate commercials.  I can't remember the last time we watched a show live.
• Texas weather.  Just as I am about sick and tired of it being hot/freezing, it goes and switches up on us again.  I love having summers during the winter and "winters" during the fall/spring.

Most of all though, I am thankful that I could sit here for hours and not list everyone and everything I am thankful for.  I have an extremely blessed life and I recognize this and appreciate it.

Even though I fully explained it in my last post, Boyfriend still asked me about using the title "teh".  In his own words, he just doesn't get internet lingo.  He actually gets quite annoyed by me when I speak internet; when he trips over Baby's toys and I yell, "FAIL" or when he would put Baby's diapers on backwards I would call him a noob.  If I really want to annoy him though, all I have to do is show him all of the lolcats I find hilarious (which is all of them) because he doesn't find them funny at all.  Seriously though, how can this not make you laugh?!

While his lack of internet coolness is a disgrace in this family, I plan on keeping Boyfriend around for awhile.  First off, he is really good at doing laundry and cooking.  Those are two things I seriously lack any sort of skills in.  One time, I cooked three boneless chicken breasts in the oven for an hour and a half and they still came out raw.  Yes the oven was on, no I can't explain it.  I'm just that good.  I can bake a mean cake/cookies/brownies/pie though, and plan on continuing to bribe him with treats to stay with me because most of all, Boyfriend is an amazing father.

He has a generously flexible work schedule and is able to be with Baby more often than I during the week.  Every morning I leave before she wakes and often come home right before she goes to bed.  He will update me about their day as it progress and sends me pictures.  Baby, just like any of us, will have her bad days but for the most part it is very obvious that she is extremely happy to hang out with him and chill.  He might do silly things like throw food on the floor to entertain her while cleaning (yes, he cleans too ladies!) but they have a unique and strong bond that I could only wish for every father and daughter to share.  Boyfriend and I were together for four years before we got married and then almost another three before Baby came so we really had the time to get to know each other before.  I never doubted his ability to be a good father, I just never realized just how much he would excel at it.  I couldn't ask for more.

Well that isn't entirely true, I really wish he would enjoy lolcats as much as I do.