Love You Forever

When I was little, my mother often (and when I say often, I actually mean every night as it was one of my favorites) read me Love You Forever.  I have fond memories of her reading to me, rocking me in her arms and singing the same song the mother in the book sang to her son.  I remember giggling at the part when the mother would climb a ladder into the son's room as an adult. 

I am superstitious to a point, so I waited until I entered the second trimester to purchase anything for Baby.  The day I was officially out of the first trimester, Boyfriend and I went out and bought two items, a small toy (that Shrek immediately chewed up) and this book.  I envisioned reading this book to my own child, rocking and singing.  At some point in the pregnancy, Boyfriend decided to read the book to my swollen belly.

It was such a sweet picturesque moment, me lying in our bed, Boyfriend and Shrek were both lying next to my belly as I laid on the bed, Baby was kicking and twisting in response to her father's voice.  I was filled with happiness and was giggling at Boyfriend's version of the song.  Then he started to read the last few pages.

If you haven't read the book before, I'm going to spoil it for you; it implies that the mother dies.  Imagine me, 8 months pregnant, having this incredibly sweet moment with my budding family, reading a book about a mother dying.  I start crying and laughing, crying because it was just so darn depressing, laughing because only my mother would love reading me a book about death.  I don't know how as a child I didn't pick up on the death aspect, I suppose because of the innocence only a child has.

All the same though, I still plan on continuing the tradition of reading Love You Forever to Baby.  I mean, it can't be any more morbid than the nursery rhymes that she will sing on the playground.

10 Things

I won't even being to pretend I'm some wise woman who has a lot of insight into the meaning and purpose of life. I have however, learned a few things along the way that I hope that I can pass onto my daughter.

1.  It is ok to be cheap (I prefer the word frugal) about a lot of things.  There are some items though, that you should never purchase the off brand.  Laundry detergent, paper towels, toilet paper, and good smelling candles.  These are all things that when I try to be frugal about, I end up purchasing so much more or using twice as much as if I had just bought the name brand.  There a handful of other things, but seriously, saving $1 is not worth scratching your delicate lady bits for a month with rough toilet paper.

2.  Boyfriend and I haven't always been the best at budgeting our money.  We always pay our bills and manage to put a small amount into savings but probably not the amount we should be.  We do however, prioritize our spending to make sure that we have the best quality life possible.  We made the decision to purchase a home much smaller and less expensive than what we were approved for and drive cars that are not luxury at all yet do the job in a comfortable manner.  This has enabled us to spend the rest of money on experiences.  We probably won't die leaving Baby a large inheritance, but she will have mementos of family vacations, fine dining, and cool toys that last so much longer than the money we spent.

3.  Don't leave your partner's favorite cooking thermometer in the roast while it is still cooking.  This will ruin said thermometer and will leave you with one grumpy partner.  Especially if your roast comes out like beef jerky.  Then they will just be grumpy AND hungry.

4.  Menthol shaving cream should be reserved for men's faces only.  This is self explanatory.

5.  Really, there are so few things in life that you NEED to stress about.  Seriously.  I make a conscious choice not to stress about anything that I don't need to.  It isn't that I don't care, I do, but if it is beyond my control (stuck in traffic, someone isn't doing something they said they would, my dinner was disgusting, again) then there isn't a reason to waste energy worrying over it.  This comes especially handy when you are planning a wedding, buying a house, or having a baby.  Three of life's most stressful, but exciting, times.

6.  Along with not stressing, make a concerted effort to not waste mental energy regretting anything.  If it is done, its done.  If you did something that you now look back at and realize that it probably wasn't the best choice-don't do it again.  Again, this often makes me look like I don't care but that really isn't the case, I just want to do better next time.

7.  Have one really good thing that you can cook.  I pretty much destroy and food that isn't baking, however I am known for my Hot Wing Dip.  I'm only good at it because it is essentially mixing ingredients together and putting it in a hot oven, but all the same people love it and request it all the time.  I'll be honest and I've never once tasted it (I don't like spicy things) and it looks disgusting but it is what the people want so I always oblige.



 8.  Boyfriend is always right.  There might be a few times she argues with her Daddy that she will be right, but just trust me when I say 99% of the time he is right.  I've been down that path a few too many times with him so I would like to save her some time.

9.  In my vows to Boyfriend, I told him I would "be slow to anger and quick to forgive".  I think this is useful in all of our relationships.

10.  When you are with Boyfriend, and you start to smell something funny, don't believe him that it was Shreky.  He can only use that excuse so many times. 

Of course I can't let a Thanksgiving go by without mentioning a few things I've been thankful for this year!

First, I have the generic, obvious answer of family.  My family is seriously awesome.  Take Boyfriend for example; he is an amazing husband, father and friend.  Sometimes he still makes rookie mistakes, like today we were in bed getting ready to put Baby down for a nap.  I was admiring the cute outfit he picked out on his own:

Then we notice some extra padding in her dress.  We lift it up, and the bottoms that actually go with the dress are still attached to the dress since it is new.



I bet he won't make that mistake again!

In all seriousness though, I try and tell him on a daily basis how thankful and appreciative I am that he has become the partner he is.  Life with a new baby is hard, really, really hard and while there were some adjustments I expected, there were some I never could have even begin to comprehend and he stepped in where I could not.  He has also made sure that he nurtures and loves me beyond being a mother and doesn't allow me to be "just a mom".  He still thinks I am his hot wife, which I love!

I am thankful that somehow, even though I have a very sick, demented, dumb, crazy dog he managed to be nothing short than perfect with Baby.  Even though he might be extremely clumsy in general, with her it is obvious he takes the time to be gentle with her.  She can even hold her food right up to his face and while he will sniff it, he won't take it from her.  She adores him and I can not wait to see their relationship grow over time.  I don't think any of us could get enough of this video:

My mother.  Seriously what can I even say?  She is the typical proud grandmother, she even thinks her poops are a work of art. Ok, maybe not quite but I'm sure it isn't far off.  Thanks to her, Baby always has a stylin wardrobe, someone to spoil her when we won't, and unlimited kisses and cuddles.  Every single person should be as lucky to have a parent in their life as we do with my mom.

Now I could go on and on with shout outs to every other person in my life but I want people to actually read this.  So just know this-if you are in my life, I am thankful for you.  I mean it.

For the random things I am thankful for:

• Breastfeeding, after 6 months of torture, breastfeeding has finally become natural in the last month and a half or so.  I am thankful that I stuck with it because the rewards are so worth it. 
• My girlfriends.  I promise mine are better than yours.  Really, yours just can't compete.
• My work friends are the best ever.  It isn't fun being at work knowing Boyfriend and Baby are at home playing without me, my heart wants to be no place other than home.  Every day that I go to work though is a fun one, and it is because of my work friends.  They are a special breed of people and I adore all of them.  I can honestly say I LOVE my job and I think 95% of that is because of them.
• Fireside Pies.  Especially their burrata mozzerella crostinis. 
• Pack and plays.  Sometimes you just don't want to have your kid watching you go to the bathroom and these are super helpful for those moments.
• DVRs.  Boyfriend and I watch a lot of TV and hate commercials.  I can't remember the last time we watched a show live.
• Texas weather.  Just as I am about sick and tired of it being hot/freezing, it goes and switches up on us again.  I love having summers during the winter and "winters" during the fall/spring.

Most of all though, I am thankful that I could sit here for hours and not list everyone and everything I am thankful for.  I have an extremely blessed life and I recognize this and appreciate it.

Even though I fully explained it in my last post, Boyfriend still asked me about using the title "teh".  In his own words, he just doesn't get internet lingo.  He actually gets quite annoyed by me when I speak internet; when he trips over Baby's toys and I yell, "FAIL" or when he would put Baby's diapers on backwards I would call him a noob.  If I really want to annoy him though, all I have to do is show him all of the lolcats I find hilarious (which is all of them) because he doesn't find them funny at all.  Seriously though, how can this not make you laugh?!

While his lack of internet coolness is a disgrace in this family, I plan on keeping Boyfriend around for awhile.  First off, he is really good at doing laundry and cooking.  Those are two things I seriously lack any sort of skills in.  One time, I cooked three boneless chicken breasts in the oven for an hour and a half and they still came out raw.  Yes the oven was on, no I can't explain it.  I'm just that good.  I can bake a mean cake/cookies/brownies/pie though, and plan on continuing to bribe him with treats to stay with me because most of all, Boyfriend is an amazing father.

He has a generously flexible work schedule and is able to be with Baby more often than I during the week.  Every morning I leave before she wakes and often come home right before she goes to bed.  He will update me about their day as it progress and sends me pictures.  Baby, just like any of us, will have her bad days but for the most part it is very obvious that she is extremely happy to hang out with him and chill.  He might do silly things like throw food on the floor to entertain her while cleaning (yes, he cleans too ladies!) but they have a unique and strong bond that I could only wish for every father and daughter to share.  Boyfriend and I were together for four years before we got married and then almost another three before Baby came so we really had the time to get to know each other before.  I never doubted his ability to be a good father, I just never realized just how much he would excel at it.  I couldn't ask for more.

Well that isn't entirely true, I really wish he would enjoy lolcats as much as I do.

Abbrevs and other thoughts

I am someone who believes in but does not necessarily practice all: BF, EBF, BLW, NC, NIP, CS, CD, AP, TP, DV, CC, CIO, HB, ERF, BW.*  Does any of this make sense to you?  If not, let me sum it up nicely.  I am simply a mother.

When I started planning my wedding, I discovered the wide variety of internet communities.  I was the first out of my friends to get married and didn’t know very many other young brides and reached out to strangers to gather and collect ideas.  Over time, I found some amazing deals ($8 pearl necklace!) and made some good “friends”.  Since then, I have been an active member of many different online communities, though now my focuses are more on poopy diapers vs Maggie Sottero dresses.

One thing about online communities is that you will quickly find that they are not far off from high school.  Very cliquish, you can tell who is a “cool kid” and who is talked about behind their back in snark communities.  I stay away from participating in the drama, however like a car crash, it is pretty hard to completely ignore.  Another thing that is commonly found in online communities is acronyms.  In wedding communities, there were several (DH-dear husband, FMIL-future mother in law, etc) but I have never seen them more prevalent than in the parenting communities.

I feel like the acronyms are a badge us mothers (and rare fathers) wear.  I tend to frequent more of the “crunchy” communities because a lot of my parenting styles do tend to fall in line with them.  However, I do not follow a strict parenting style and am extremely hesitant to admit that I agree controversial practices like CIO or CC (cry it out or controlled crying) in certain cases because I just prefer to avoid the wank it would cause. 

I know it shouldn’t matter-it is just the internet, but it does.  It is hard to have someone attack the way you raise your child, regardless of how strong you feel that you are doing the best for your child.  I personally have very strong opinions on how MY children should be raised, but I also have a very strong belief that every child and parent has a different personality and dynamic, so what works for me doesn’t mean it will work for others. 

My blog is just another mommy blog in the sea of many, but I hope that I can be candid and honest about my different styles so that other mothers, who might not be as confident in their choices might be encouraged to go with their gut, even if it doesn’t follow a particular “style”.

Oh and one last thing, before anyone criticizes me for spelling “the” incorrectly for my blog title-that is just another little thing I have picked up from the fantastic internets.  Boyfriend calls me Wifey on the land of internet and “teh” is internet slang.  It can mean many different things, in my case I am using it to intensify the term Wifey.  So basically, I am the best.  But of course-we all knew that.

*breast feeding, extended breast feeding, baby led weaning, no-circumcision, nursing in public, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, attachment parenting, traditional parenting, delayed vaccinations, controlled crying, crying it out, home birth, extended rear facing, baby wearing