Zombie Foot

A little over two weeks ago, after waking up from our Saturday afternoon nap, I decided it would be the perfect day to take Baby to the bluebonnet field right next to our house.  The bluebonnets were a picturesque sea of blue and with an overcast sky I knew even my lame iPhone camera would get some semi decent photos.   We pulled up, found our spot along a curb and because of how many people were walking around-I thought it might just be best to put my purse in the trunk since I didn't want to carry it around.  As I stepped down from the curb to open the trunk, well I didn't really step down-I flew down.  
I genuinely don't know what happened, one moment I was standing, the next I was on all fours behind the car in what I can only describe as the second most pain of my life.  I had heard two loud pops/cracks and felt at least two different rolling sensations in my ankle.  As much pain as I was in, I couldn't stop laughing at myself, I can't help it, I suffer from AFV syndrome (when your response to anyone in pain is to laugh).  Boyfriend was even nice enough to take a picture of me.  

  At first, I wasn't sure how much damage I had done but instinctively I knew I was going to end up at the hospital but was still in a bit of denial.  And at this point, adrenaline had started to kick in just a tad bit so I became stupidly adamant that I was not leaving until I took pictures of Baby with those dang bluebonnets.   Boyfriend offered his support to walk me over to the field, and then I literally crawled over to the spot most concentrated so I wouldn't have to move around too much.  I took one picture, tried to adjust myself and almost passed out from the pain so I realized I was being a bit too stubborn and that we had to go.  

  I called my OB's after hours line because I had remembered that I signed a paper stating that if I had to go to the hospital for any reason I must call them first.  The receptionist said that we didn't have to page her because if needed, the hospital would, but was clear that I had to go to Baylor Dallas, not an urgent care facility.  I didn't want to drag Baby along so I called my mom (who lives less than two minutes away from the field) to come get her.  Baby was devastated because we had promised to let her fly her kite and now we were leaving.

When my mom showed up, my brother-who had a spiral break on his own ankle four years ago, had joined her.  He brought a boot and wanted me to stabilize my ankle for the car ride.  I wasn't exactly nice when I told him he was crazy and I would not be following his advice-even if it might have been solid.  I couldn't even fathom having anything touch my ankle, let alone having to maneuver my incredibly swollen cankle into to the boot.
Off we went to the hospital, but not before a stop for snacks at the gas station.  Having been to an ER a few times-I knew the wait could get extensive and a pregnant woman should never be in pain, and snackless!
I'm happy to say that Baylor actually got in me in and out pretty quickly.  They did do an x-ray, which when pregnant isn't really kosher, but they covered me with so many of blankets I am (hopefully) assuming everything is fine.  They couldn't locate a break which I was honestly shocked.  By the time the doctor came in, I had gone from second worst pain in my life to worst pain in my life (and remember-I had Baby with no drugs).  I think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain but this was blindingly awful.  They did give me some pregnancy approved painkillers and sent me on my way home with a boot and some crutches.

The last couple of weeks has been interesting.  I've never actually injured myself to this extent and am really impatient.  I dropped the crutches a little after a week-I just felt way too unstable and that I was about to propel my eight month belly directly into the ground.  I make random attempts to walk without the boot, but am quickly reminded that is so, so dumb. 
I'm just not good at this being injured thing and just resting.  I get frustrated with myself that it still hurts SO much.  I feel like such a baby and that I am being dramatic.  I've been told by many, many people that a severe sprain can actually hurt worse than a break-and that somewhat makes me feel better. Also making me laugh is that my foot seriously looks like it is dead-I feel like I have a Zombie Foot (picture really doesn't do it justice). 

It hasn't been all bad though.  I have adored the moments that I can see Baby's desire to take care of me.  The first few nights I slept on the couch and she wanted to be near me in case I needed anything so we brought out her old crib mattress for her to sleep next to me.

Another plus-Boyfriend has gotten the opportunity to do the bedtime routine on a regular basis now.  The task generally became mine most nights of the week, but it just warms my heart to watch him read her stories at night and tuck her in.

I'm getting to the point where I do feel like I have much more stability.  I can flex just fine up and down, but movement from right to left is still pretty restricted and I can hear a pop if I try.  I'm trying really hard to just be patient because I can't afford to extend my stay in the boot-#2's arrival will be within the next 6-8 weeks and I assume delivering a baby with a boot would be quite the task!

You Look Kinda Cute, In that Polka Dot Bikini

A couple of weeks ago a group of ten of us hopped on a plane to celebrate our friend Heather finding her Buddy for life (the groom's name is Buddy).   Back in my wedding day, bachelorette parties were local and one night of debauchery.  We were lucky that our early 20's budgets allowed us to get a hotel room (and only because we had a friend who was able to get an employee discount). We were babies, look not a wrinkle in sight! 

 

Since then, many of us have gotten hitched and had slightly more elaborate bachelorette shenanigans-New Orleans, Chicago, and most recently, Miami. 

I love these trips.  Admittedly, I have an equal amount of fond memories from my 12 hour party than any two-three day trip we have taken but our weekend parties are more than just celebrating the bride to be.      It is a weekend away from every outside stress, husband, work or other obligations to just enjoy and toast to the friendships we have developed over the years. 

Knowing all along that I was going to be 31 weeks pregnant during this trip, I wasn't super excited for the crazy night out.  For a few months prior to the trip, I tried to figure out what a nearly eight month pregnant woman wore to "da club."  I imagined the scene from Knocked Up, "You old, she pregnant-can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around" and I would be responsible for us not getting into whatever club we ended up at.

In the end, I wore a plain black dress that will continue to make the rounds with different accessories for each other remaining weddings and bachelorette parties I have to attend through the rest of the pregnancy.  Luckily, one of the girls on our trip was also related to someone who worked concierge in Miami so they were able to get us on the list and avoid that scene.  Even more fortunate, because of that relationship-when pregnancy brain hit me hard and I brought my work ID instead of my license, I was still permitted in as long as I promised not to drink.  No problem Mr. Bouncer, especially with your $30 drinks.   My favorite part of the wild and crazy night though was the official passing down of the bachelorette sash.  If you look back to the original picture on this post, you will see that the sash above and below are the same.  This sash has been passed between each bride with the last bride writing a message of encouragement to the next inside.  I am really impressed we have managed to keep it within the group over the years and love our own version of traveling pants.

The next day we spent the entire day on the beach, just enjoying the day.  Another thing I obsessed about was what type of bathing suit to wear-I never wear a bikini in real life but with my belly all of my tankinis only covered half my belly making me feel strangely more self conscious so I just sucked it up and let it all hang out.

We finally accepted it was time to go inside when the sun was setting and spent a low key evening in our condo cooking dinner and playing Cards Against Humanity.  We all started to crash pretty early and hit the sack so we could get up the next morning and head back home to Dallas.  

 Now that nearly everyone has had their own turn with the sash, I realize that our bachelorette weekends are coming to an end.  It is my hope that we won't rely on having a reason to take these trips though-getting away with my girls is crucial to my well being.  And coming home to my family is always a sweet reunion, and this time I came home to the biggest surprise of all-Boyfriend cleaned our ENTIRE house while I was gone, and if that isn't reason to leave town more often, then I don't know what is!

Four

 Four.  Baby is four now, and I feel like it was just a couple months ago I was posting about my new three year old.

My four year old is no longer a baby-if I make the mistake of using it as a term of endearment when talking to her she is quick to remind me, “I’m not a baby, I’m a big girl!”

My big girl is full of fire and desire to be independent.  I love encouraging her spirit to be her own person, but relish in the moments she becomes vulnerable and lets me take care of her.  

As a big girl, she has discovered how to manipulate her parents and becomes quite pouty when we don’t let her get away with it.  Sometimes though, those crocodile tears just rip at my heart and I give in, knowing she will only be four for far too short of a time.

My four year old is incredibly receptive and anticipates some of the changes that will occur when her little brother or sister arrives.  She is looking forward to embracing the role of big sister and routinely tells me what specific jobs will be hers (throwing diapers away, making sure #2 has their paci, sharing toys).

Four is when I realize that Baby is right, she isn’t a baby anymore.  She needs me less and less, with the only tasks she asks of me is to get items out of her reach or to explain things she doesn’t understand.  I adore my fierce, self-dependent daughter, but already mourn the passing of her babyhood.

My four year old’s world is going to change beyond comprehension this year.  Four will be a year of experiences new to her and to me.  Four is going to be the year she becomes my sidekick in this journey and I couldn’t imagine having a more perfect girl to be by my side. 

 

David's a Natural Fit for Naturalizer

  Recently I had the opportunity to sit in on a Google hangout with David Bromstad on behalf of Naturalizer.  To be honest, while I recognize the brand, I wasn't familiar with it at all and was excited to see the partnership, as I love David's show on HGTV. In the hangout, David discussed his inspiration for the collection, saying "It’s fun, fresh and feels like summer. The floral painting brings together roses from a New England garden and a tropical hibiscus from Florida. It’s north meets south—an unexpected twist."  

 I have always been a sucker for floral prints, even when they were not fashionable for 12 year olds.  I think I read once that florals can be flattering for women that are, lets say, a bit busty, and it has stuck with me ever since.  I typically will try to use them in my accessories instead of my actual clothing so this collection was extremely appealing to me.   After the hangout, I was surprised with a choice of any of the products from the collection. I wasn't asked to review the product or make any posts, I just wanted to share a few of my thoughts.  My eye was immediately drawn to some of the flats, I thought they would be really cute with jeans or to add some fun to my summer dresses.  

  That said, since I'm currently pregnant and my foot size likes to change on the daily, I decided to go select the Vida purse in tan and gold.  

  Not exaggerating at all, I have received more compliments on this bag than I have any other accessory that I have in a long, long time.  If I was completely honest, I wish the gold underlay was just the slightest bit more muted, but I adore the shape and all of the interior pockets have proven to be very helpful.  I'm not scared that when Boyfriend asks for something and I tell him, "In my purse, on the side pocket" he will become so frustrated and just hand it to me to find.    For David Bromstad fans, Naturalizer is hosting a "Win a Day with David" sweepstakes through May 3.  Head on over here, sign up and if you win feel free to let me be your traveling companion!  And for those who are obsessed with animal print, keep an eye out for the fall collection-he hinted that is something we will definitely be seeing in the upcoming release.

Pregnancy Update-I'm Getting Close

Currently in my 30th week, or somewhere in the 7-8 month range, I am just now starting to realize, "Holy crap-I'm going to have a baby!"   When you are pregnant with your first, all of your free time goes to preparing for the massive change your life is about to take on.  Apparently in sequential pregnancies, all your free time is being spent on that massive change you created the last time.   That doesn't mean I haven't cherished this pregnancy, not in the least bit.  Since this is my last (or at least our true intentional last and we will be doing all that can be done to prevent it, thanks for taking one for the team Boyfriend!) I haven't allowed myself to wish any moments away because I want to soak up every moment I consciously can (like not feeling it is inappropriate for having three containers of ice cream in your freezer at the same time.  And planning on eating it all by yourself).    

  I mentioned before in one of my earlier updates but this time around has been much harder than the first, though I will admit quickly I still have it so, so good.  None of my ailments have ever been at a risk to baby, only to the detriment of my physical capabilities and at times, emotional wellness.   I've been having extreme hip issues, my right one seems to dislocate every single night in my sleep.  When I wake, I have to be extremely careful on how I start my movements until I hear that big, "Pop!" to know it is back in place-otherwise I literally can't walk.  I don't have the capability to walk an extensive period of time, otherwise I'm in pretty excruciating pain (and I have a high pain tolerance).  I've had to miss two days at work due to this and that was extremely hard for me to do so, but I knew if I didn't take the time to rest I would be setting myself up for a lot more time off than desired.    While my hip issues are pretty debilitating at times, that is truly my only real issue.  Of course we have all the other general aches and pains, nausea, sleeplessness, etc.  And the noises, oh the noises that come out of me.  I'm not talking bodily functions (though any pregnant woman will tell you that is part of it too) the grunts, groans and moans that have involuntarily as I move along.  I annoy myself, I can't imagine what others around me think.

  For every negative though, I have so many positive things going on at the same time.  I have loved watching Baby take on the big sister role, even while her sibling is in the womb.  She loves to talk to the baby, feel it kicking, read it stories and wash the baby while we are in the shower.  She is consistently concerned with what the baby is up to and if I tell her #2 is sleeping, she starts yelling at it to wake up, which usually will illicit a kick or two.  

    Speaking of kicks, Boyfriend has only had the opportunity to feel the baby move once.  I don't know why the moment he places his hand on my swollen belly the movement stops but it is completely predictable it will happen.   #2 seems to already discriminate because it isn't shy with Baby.   As far as preparation goes, we haven't done anything beyond purchase a new car seat since Baby's will be expired by the time #2 arrives.  Oh and I bought a bunny hat similar to the one Baby had because it was on clearance at Target.  

    We don't know if we are going to set up a nursery, and if we do it won't be before the new addition arrives.  Our plan is to do the same with Baby-have #2 sleep in our room in a bassinet until they are reliably sleeping 4-6 hour stretches.  We are hoping for a wonder child like Baby who started to do that by three weeks, but I'm setting up expectations for that to happen more in the several months (or more) range.  Partly I feel like I want to see what sex we are having before planning the decor and part I'm not ready to give up my guest (nap/additional closet) room, but either way-if I know the baby won't be spending any time in there, I don't see the need to worry about that now.   I will be breastfeeding this one as well, and have researched my insurance on how to obtain my pump.  When I had Baby, my pump died when she was nine months and my insurance refused to cover one and I was being cheap and didn't want to buy a brand new one.  Luckily I had built up quite the stash so we managed to make due with what we had for the next three months to cover her primary nutrition.  My goal, should my body decide to work for me, is to encourage the oversupply again so that I can start to build a stash early on.  I think having that is one of the things that made being a breastfeeding momma so much easier.   I will be taking off the full 12 weeks of allowed leave.  My company is pretty generous as far as leave time goes, they allow a 90 day leave from the day the baby is born, even if you had already started your 12 week FMLA prior to that, so I am considering taking off just a week or so prior to the anticipated due date to rest.  Or if things progress with my hips as they have been, I might not have a choice-but I'm hoping that I am allowed to make the choice on my own.   At the exact same time, I'm feeling completely under-prepared and like I'm totally ready.  I have another 9 weeks give or take a couple of weeks (hopefully) and don't really want it to end.  I was the same with Baby, I knew once she came out there was no going back, so I am just going to spend the next couple of months not focusing on the hard parts and celebrating the positives.

Happy Birthday Baby

Last week was Baby's fourth birthday.  It was the first birthday that she really embraced it as her special day-last year she semi understood, but there was no denying the fact that she was The Birthday Girl.

Starting around November, we would discuss each month and whose birthday would occur-January was mine, February was Boyfriend's, March hers and so on until June when she got to #2's.  (We literally do have one, at minimum, very close family member each month between January-June).   We also went back and forth many, many times on what type of party she wanted to have.  She has started to attend birthday parties of her daycare friends and wanted to have one just like them.  I was starting to get excited about the various themes we could do (her obsessions are Frozen, Hello Kitty and My Little Pony) and how I could make them "kid classy."   The closer we got to the big day, I started to feel dread.  Maybe because I'm pregnant, maybe because I didn't want to host a party including a bunch of parents I don't know but I just didn't want to throw a huge party.  So one day I just asked her-do you want to have a birthday party with your daycare friends or go to Build a Bear with Cousin N? Her response of, "Oooooh Build a Bear!!!!!" was music to my ears.   Much to the disappointment of my mother who had really wanted her to have a party, we planned a simple outing-lunch for our 20 family members and hitting up the mall after for Build a Bear.  It was stress free, fun, and she was perfectly happy with her entire day.   Last year she asked for roller skates, this year it was a scooter.  I have NO clue where she picks up these ideas, I suppose from TV because she doesn't know anyone with either of those.  After some slight disappointment that we picked out a purple scooter instead of a pink one, she immediately threw on her helmet and had to go outside (in the cold) to try it out.

I was pretty impressed with her determination to ride, she was having a difficult time getting into a rhythm but with Boyfriend's help it didn't take too long.  Watching him teach her how to ride the scooter made my throat swell, he is just so patient with her and while I wish he would pass some of that along to me :), I am so thankful that he shows her the grace and understanding she needs.   After scooter lessons, we took a shower where I dried her hair and used my flat iron (a special treat).  We were running a bit late to lunch because she was adamant that she wanted balloons for her birthday-and who was I to argue with the birthday girl?  Baby was spoiled with love and presents and adored having us sing, "Happy Birthday" to her.

After lunch, we were off on the much anticipated Build a Bear trip.  Baby and Cousin N were literally jumping around with excitement and could barely contain themselves.  It was so fun for me to watch them having such a blast.

Sadly the fun didn't last long enough and as soon as we walked out to take a few last pictures of the cousins together, Baby realized that fun time was over.  Hey, it is her birthday and she can cry if she wants to.

After bribery of ice cream and park time, we headed home and luckily our worn out girl fell asleep and we were able to take our yearly birthday nap together.  I'm so sad we failed to capture her second birthday nap, as I imagine we will only have another year to add to the collection.

 After nap time, we headed to the park next to our house so she could spend the last hours of sunlight playing on her scooter and with her balloons.  

That evening, after dinner Boyfriend and I read her stories and she told us she didn't want to go to sleep because that meant her birthday would be over.  I told her she could stay up as late as she wanted as long as she was in bed reading.  The last time I was awake to check was 11:30 and there she was, still wide awake singing happy birthday to herself.  The little light in front of her face is a blinky ice cube she uses as a nightlight.  

The next morning when I woke her she was sad that her birthday was over but thanked me for such a fun day.  I have such a sweet girl and feel so, so lucky that I am her mom.