Sisters

"What is Pillow doing right now?" "Is Pillow sleeping?  Does Pillow have the hiccups?"   Those questions and what seemed like a million more were constantly asked by Baby when I was pregnant.  She was obsessed with talking to my belly, kissing my stomach, singing Frozen songs-if she could include my belly in her activities, she would.  There may have even been a tea party balanced on my belly.    

  Through my pregnancy, I referred to the baby as #2 here on the blog.  Now that she is here I struggled with trying to decide if I would continue to call her #2 or use a different nickname.  I'm not trying to protect her real name (as I obviously shared it in my last post) but I have a couple years history using nicknames for the rest of the family so I feel it would be odd to not use one for her.  So in hopes that the newest member of the household not go back and read my blog entries and feel as though she is #2 in my life (I had a mean case of sibling rivalry and am paranoid) I've decided to go with Pillow which is the nickname Baby gave her and continues to call her now.
And now that Pillow is officially here, the questions haven't stopped. All during pregnancy, I was extremely concerned with how Baby would react to the birth of her sibling.  While I knew she would get over it, I was excepting a lot of jealousy, attention seeking behavior and maybe even some anger.  I had some glimmer of hope that she wouldn't be too resentful of the baby who has stolen her parent's attention.  The reality of her relationship with Pillow is something I never anticipated.

To say that she is Pillow's biggest fan is an understatement.  Baby is completely enamored with her sister and it has been so fulfilling to watch her fall in love.
I try to be conscious of asking her to help too much-she is still a little kid and while I do want to teach her family responsibility, I don't feel it is Baby's place to have to be an active part of newborn upkeep.  That said, Baby *wants* to help.  With EVERYTHING.  Sometimes it is a hindrance and makes what might be a 45 second diaper change a two minute, poop on the changing pad diaper change, I encourage her assistance.

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When Pillow is crying, Baby will tell me why she is crying.  If there is crying after a feeding, Baby will reprimand me for not feeding her long enough.  My children are both very hot natured and Baby will get upset if I keep her in the car seat for longer than necessary because Pillow will get sweaty.  
I've admitted that I wasn't sure I wanted a second child, but even with my uncertainty, I always felt that Baby was meant to have a sibling.  Watching their relationship has been so sweet and while I know the other shoe can drop and Baby may wake up and decide she wants Pillow to move out, I am relishing in witnessing their love grow and develop.    

  Luckily, Pillow is just as smitten with her big sister.

Penny Lea

As Boyfriend went to bed on June 10th, I told him, "I'll wake you up at 3:00!"  Every single night (morning) I had been waking up at 3:00 to go to the bathroom so I just had this feeling that was when I was going to wake up and realize I was in labor.   Sure enough, at 3:05 a.m. I woke up feeling something and wondering if I was in labor but went back to sleep immediately.  I started to dream about being in labor and being confused as to when to call the doctor and I decided that I would call no earlier than the 5:00 hour as I wanted my doctor to be able to sleep.  
In my dream, I also felt a pop and some wetness that jolted me out awake.  I laid there for a moment and realized that it wasn't a dream and I was in fact feeling wetness.  I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:13 and laughed to myself that I had been right all along.  I woke up Boyfriend asking him to get me a towel because I was pretty sure my water had just broken.
This began the first of three strikes I gave Boyfriend during labor.  He *slowly* got out of bed, spent what felt like five minutes in the bathroom (which is only 20 feet away) and finally brought me a baby towel.  I stood up and hardly anything leaked so I became very confused.
I went to the bathroom but I couldn't tell for sure if my water had broken.  There were obvious signs that it had, but there was no more fluids coming.  Boyfriend started yelling at me from the bedroom, "Well is it time?! Did your water break?" and so I started googling how to tell if your water broke vs peeing yourself.  Dr. Google told me to use a pad and check it in half an hour so that is what I did.
As I walked out of the bathroom to report what I was going to do to monitor the fluid situation, I had my first real contraction.  So despite that I didn't have any signs of my water breaking, I finally started to feel like this could be it.  I got my phone and decided to start timing my contractions.  I knew I was supposed to call my doctor as soon as my water broke but with not being sure, I didn't want to call her unless I was having very reliable contractions.  
While timing them, I walked puttered around the house-fixing my hair, getting the last minute items into my hospital bag.  The contractions were getting stronger and stronger, I noticed I was really having to focus during them.  At some point, Baby woke up with the commotion and became the most animated child, belting out Frozen songs and asking me a million questions.  I had to make a rule that during contractions there had to be complete silence, no talking for anyone.
When I was in labor with Baby, I had two or three moments where if I could control my mind and not let the fear of the pain take over and relax my body, it wasn't nearly as painful and completely managable.  I was determined this time that I would work through each one and relax my body through the contraction.  I was really surprised I was having to do it so early and in between contractions, I started to fear how much worse it was going to get.     At my appointment earlier that week, my doctor told me that she usually has her patients follow the 5-1-1 rule (five minutes apart, one minute long, one hour consistent) for contractions but told me if I thought things were progressing, to not wait the hour.  After 30 of timing contractions, at 3:56 a.m. I decided that I didn't want to wait any longer.  The on call service patched me through and I had a contraction while on the phone with the doctor.  She told me that I better get myself headed to the hospital, now.   The tone of her voice put the panic in me.  I had Boyfriend call my mother to tell her that we were going to be dropping off Baby and I sent messages to my best friend, Amanda, and another dear friend, Lindsey, who agreed to take some pictures of the birth-this was at 4:07 a.m.  I warned them that I had just started having contractions so it might be a bit but it was definitely time.
At this point, I was interally feeling extremely conflicted.  I had just started having contractions so I was assuming I was only 4-5 cm along but I had this deep panic in me we had to get moving, and quickly.  I kept trying to be nice and calm when telling Boyfriend we had to go but it seemed as though he had no sense of urgency. I finally just said, "Let's go-if we forget anything we can have someone get it for us!"
As soon as I got into the car I realized there was no way I was sitting down in my seat.  I found the slightest bit of comfort facing backward on my knees with my arms around the headrest.  Boyfriend told me I had to sit on my bottom, buckled up.  I pleaded with him to just let me stay that way until we got to my moms house, I reasoned that we literally had to go only two streets over.  He buckled me up backwards, annoyed at me and drove to my mother's house.
We arrived at 4:25 a.m. and while Boyfriend was getting Baby out I texted my friends to tell them it felt like it was going to happen more quickly than I thought and encouraged them to start heading to the hospital.  I started to have another contraction and out of the corner of my eye I see my mother and waved her away.  We had no time to talk and I needed Boyfriend to leave, right then.
Boyfriend earned his second strike at this point because we sat in the driveway for what felt like several minutes and I yelled at Boyfriend, "Why aren't you driving!?"  He calmly said, you aren't sitting down.  I cried to him I couldn't, he stubbornly refused to drive.  I didn't know what to do in that moment-physically I couldn't force myself to sit but I knew we had to get going, and fast.  Finally I convinced him to let me half lie on side and my knees and we finally were off.
While driving, he turned up the music and Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" came on.  He started singing and really emphasized the lyric, "There's no going back."  Strike three.  He knew the rule about being quiet during contractions.  I just yelled at him to be quiet, he turned the music off but I told him music could stay on, he just had to be quiet.
Because of the way I was "sitting" in the car, I couldn't see how far we were from the hospital but about 15 minutes into our 20ish minute drive I felt the first urge to push. I totally ignored it and begged him to hurry.  Even though I had felt the urge, I was still petrified that I was only 4-5 cms along and my pain levels were only going to increase.  I told Boyfriend that if we got to the hospital and I wasn't that far along, I was getting an epidural.  Little did I know, I was in transition and that even if I had wanted it, there would be no time for an epidural.  
Sometime between 4:45 and 4:50 a.m. we arrived at the hospital.  Boyfriend parked in the drop off zone as I was in the middle of a contraction so I couldn't move.  He immediately jumped up and said he was going to get a wheel chair, I tried to yell at him that I didn't need one but he was too far away.
I waited until the contraction was over and power walked into the hospital, I saw Boyfriend aimlessly looking around for a wheelchair and I told him, "Don't worry about it."  I didn't mean this in a mean tone, I just simply meant I didn't need it but he thought I was upset with him.  I walked up to the check in counter and they led me to the same room I delivered Baby in.  At this point, Boyfriend asked me if it was ok to move his car.  I told him to do what he needed to do-again he took it as me being mad at him but it was simply too exhausting to talk.
Left alone in the delivery room with my nurse, I could see the monitors laid out across the bed.  She started telling me that I could change into my gown and that they had to monitor me for about 20 minutes.  I didn't mean to sound so bitchy, but I told her there was no way in hell I was going to be laying down for 20 minutes and I wasn't going to wear the gown, I wanted to wear my own clothes.  She said, "Ok...but you have to take your pants off."  
I agreed to have her monitor me while standing over the bed, and this is when Boyfriend came back in.  Suddenly the urge to push came on very, very strong.  She heard my vocalization and asked me, with panic, "Wait, wait-what is going on, tell me what you are feeling."  I told her it was time to push and I heard her page the resident doctor.
The resident came in and asked what was going on as I was trying to get comfortable laying on my side on the bed.  I told her I was needing to push and she asked me to get on my back.  I asked her why I had to be on my back, I had delivered Baby while on my side and that is what I wanted to do.  I didn't feel like fighting though and started to turn on my back and in the same moment I felt the baby move further down inside me and started pushing involuntary.  Up until this point, my eyes had been shut the entire time but I opened my eyes to look at the doctor who was giving me orders and saw her face drain total color and she told me the baby's head was crowning.  
Just one minute and one push later, at 5:05 a.m, after two hours of labor and less than 20 minutes at the hospital, my second daughter, Penny Lea was born.

I was in total surprise she was here and opened my eyes to look around me.  I saw Lindsey with her camera, she told me she had literally just run from the parking lot and walked in as I was pushing the baby out.  I saw Boyfriend looking down at me in what I can also assume was shock. We waited for the cord to stop pulsing before Boyfriend cut it, I love how you can see that he is doing his fatherly duty but still seems pretty grossed out by it.

 

At this point, the on call doctor came in and apologized for being still half asleep and asked, "What's up?" He asked the resident if she needed anything, she was currently working to help me deliver the placenta.  Resident doctor told him no and at this point, my own personal doctor arrived.  My fears of delivering without my own doctor came true but I was so grateful that she was there to help with everything that happens after you deliver.

  Maybe it is because I have fast labors, but I honestly felt with both of them the pain of having to get stitched up in your most delicate areas without pain relief is far more painful than labor itself. My doctor had to keep reminding me to keep my hands above my belly because she was scared I would involuntarily knock her hands.  After a few minutes, the numbing shot was finally working well and I relaxed just a bit.

  Approximately 20 minutes after birth, they took Penny to get her weight and measurements.  She weighed in at 7 pounds even, 21.75 inches.  

 

Amanda arrived shortly after and I finally told her the secret that we had been keeping all along, that we were using her middle name in honor of her.  

Next and last to arrive was my mom, brother and Baby.  We spent the next half hour passing Penny around and attempting to nurse while we waited for a room to become available for me upstairs.

 

 

 

 

It has almost been six weeks since Penny's birth.  I was prepared with how fast time flies when you have kids because of Baby but I'm still surprised that we are now a family of four.

 

One of my biggest fears was that I was going to have my baby in a car.  I guess instincts really will guide you because I was just minutes away from it happening.  Penny's birth made me appreciate my body all over again and made me feel incredibly strong.

Welcome to the world baby Penny.

 

Belly Pictures (Or the Lack Of)

When I first found out I was pregnant, I made Boyfriend promise me that I would take weekly belly pics.  I love all the progressive pictures I see on Facebook and Pinterest, I wanted to do my own.  Well I guess life got in the way because the above collage is about the extent of my belly pictures.     I will say though, this is more than I have from when I was pregnant with Baby.  I struggle with asking people to take pictures of me and I'm not a super fan of the selfie.  I did however, ask one of my dear friends to take a few quick shots with me and the family when I was 38 weeks.  I am forever grateful to have these pictures and am so appreciative she took the time out of her day to spend with me and the family before we became a group of four.  

Happiest of Hours at P.F. Changs

This past week, courtesy of P.F. Changs, Boyfriend and I were able to drop the kids off at Nana's house and spend the happiest of hours trying out their new menu items that are currently exclusive to Dallas (click to see the new items!)   Happy hour looks different when you have two kids.  You will see me with no makeup, maybe some spit up on my shirt and the Boyfriend dressed in his fanciest 'Merica shirt.  But you know what-after one glass of P.F. Chang's new Sangria (especially when you read what ingredients are in it),  neither of us care much more about what we are wearing and are just happy to be spending some quality time together.  

Baby's first favorite restaurant was P.F. Changs, in fact we celebrated her first birthday there, so it holds a special place in our heart.  I was a little nervous to cheat on my beloved lo mein (beef, no mushrooms) but was pleasantly surprised with their new small plates and happy hour choices.  We started out with Ahi Tartare, California Rolls, and Saigon Summer Rolls.

When it comes to sushi, I'm the girl who will eat her weight in California Rolls but I won't touch raw fish.  I was feeling a bit brave after a half glass of my Sangria so I tasted the Ahi Tartare and finally got why people were so obsessed with it.  The texture was creamy and paired with my obsession of avocado I seriously could have ate the entire plate, but I was on a date after all so I was nice and let Boyfriend have two bites.   We ended our hour with the Asian Carnitas Bao.  I love bao buns but am not typically a fan of the traditional fillings so this Americanized version was a good compromise.    

Sadly, our happy hour really was only an hour-we had to get home so I could feed the littlest one.  If you are lucky and have more than one hour (or even just one to spare), you can find the closest participating P.F. Changs here.  Also, starting this Wednesday, they are offering Sushi, Small Bites and Wine Flights where you can pick selections and pairings based off your budget.    

On Maternity Leave...

On June 11th, #2 officially joined the family with a delivery very similar to their personality- zero to sixty in no time.  When Boyfriend announced, "It is a girl!" my heart grew twice the size.  

I'll be back soon to share my birth story, what life is like with two kids, how Baby has adjusted to her sister (spoiler-it isn't anything like I thought it would be like) and other various updates.  But for right now, I'm very serious about sleeping when she sleeps and spending time staring into my girls eyes.