What a Difference a Year Makes

A year ago today Boyfriend and I started our day commuting to work with the company jet.

  The night before we had attended a Sunday evening wedding and didn't want to take time off of work the next day so we just flew home.  The early flight was extremely rough-not only was there horrible turbulence but my stomach was feeling extremely queasy from the amount of wine I had consumed the night before.  Basically-wild party nights and a 5 am flight do not mix.
Once at work, and with a full belly, I was still feeling really sick.  I glanced over at my calendar and with the light bulb going off so bright it burst, I knew I was pregnant.
I don't know how I knew-I hadn't even gotten to the point where I would have a missed period.  I was only about three weeks pregnant but I just knew.  I was slightly confused-without providing too much information, with Boyfriend's travel schedule and my cycles I shouldn't have even considered the fact that I was pregnant, but again I just knew.
A few of the longest hours I ever endured later, I confirmed my gut feeling by peeing on a stick in the bathroom at Target during my lunch break.
This past year has been every extreme possible in all facets of my life-from family, to personal growth to my career.  Just as we are figuring things out with our newest addition, I am about to change everything up in one major way, again.
For the second year in a row, September 30th has become a monumental day in my history.  Today was my last day at my current position and tomorrow I start a new role (with the same company, but completely different department).
I'm incredibly excited but also so, so nervous.  I mastered my last position, it was easy for me to succeed.  I was liked by my peers and leaders.  So walking into that new office, where the only things people know of me are what I expressed in my interview is equally liberating and nerve wracking.  
Leaving my job today was bittersweet.  It was time but I did love my job.  Just like when I glanced at the calendar one year ago and knew my life would forever change, I had the same gut instinct when I saw that open position-I instantly knew that I would have a new title in the near future.   I now have experienced huge benchmarks that show me just how much can change in a year.  I feel like the possibilities going forth are unimaginable and can't wait to see what the next trip around the sun will bring me.

TGIF!

I knew this would happen.  I start back at work and life literally is whizzing by and I feel like I am in a constant battle of trying to get through my weeks and spending my evenings and weekends having intentional and quality time with my daughters.   I really suck at it though.  As soon as I get home, I'm just exhausted.  I want to spend my evenings taking walks to the park, playing on the playground and wrestling in the grass.

 So what do we do instead?  We get home, I take off my clothes and put on pajamas, or sometimes just take off my pants, and I sit on the couch.  There are days that from the moment I get home until it is time to bed I barely move from the couch.  It isn't entirely wasted time, I am cuddling the littlest and the big is running around and dancing for me or coloring my pictures.

It's just that I want to be more active with my kids.  I don't want them to remember me being a couch potato.  I know it is just a stage and eventually the baby will actually sleep instead of waking me two or three times each night.

This past week, I did drag myself out of the house for a family walk to the park.  Baby was so excited, scooting on her scooter and Pillow was smiling and exploring the sky above her.  When we got to the park, Baby found a spot and declared she was going to play "model" and asked me to take some pictures of her.

Minus the mosquito bites, that evening was the best one of the week so I just need to make myself get up and moving more often. Also a bonus-Pillow only woke me once in the middle of the night!

One Week In

Today marks a full week worth of work.  Granted, last week I worked one day and then this week was a short one due to Labor Day, but a week has still passed since I returned to work.

So how am I doing?  I'm EXHAUSTED.  I never really hit the full sleep deprivation with Baby since she was a champion sleeper.  Pillow-well it is a good thing she is just adorable.  
I've been working hard to get in bed by 9 each night but I've not really been that successful.  Then I wake up a minimum of twice to nurse.  I know that she needs to eat and it isn't out of comfort because we now know exactly how much she is eating during the day, and it isn't enough to try and force her to not eat at night.  
She also loves to wake up with about an hour before my alarm goes off.  So basically by the time I am done feeding her, I only have another 15-30 minutes to sleep which at that point would be more detrimental than helpful since I'm fully awake and going back to sleep and waking up again so soon would make me grumpy.
Other than the extreme lack of sleep, I'm doing ok.  I love being able to see my work friends and just be productive.  While being lazy around the house is great from time to time, doing it for weeks on end honestly wasn't for me.  
I miss Pillow something fierce during the day though.  I long for those cute little smiles and her half laugh that sounds like she is sucking in air.  I'm sad I probably won't be around for her first real belly laugh or any other milestones she will hit while I'm at work.  
Even though my world revolves around sleep right now (or the lack of it) I'm enjoying the latest season in my life.  And once I'm getting more than four hour of stretches of sleep-well I am going to feel like I can conquer the world.