The Phantastic Life

My five year blogiversary is coming up next month.  I vividly remember creating my blog out of annoyance because Boyfriend wasn't blogging enough for my liking on his blog.  My posting frequency has varied all over the years but I have always had an appreciation for a place I could come to and let my fingers do the talking.

Recently I became aware that I let my domain expire for Teh Wifey.  Maybe I should have been a bit more disappointed but honestly, I took this opportunity to embrace a name change.  I want to give my little corner of the internet new life and just like a company that wants to freshen up their branding-I'm switching things up.  

Of course anyone who has a blog really struggles with picking a name unless they just use their name itself, which I tried-already taken.  While I loved Teh Wifey because Wifey genuinely is my nickname from Boyfriend, my inner feminist hated that I was letting a title, given to me by another, identify me.  That is partially the reason why I have welcomed the circumstances for a fresh start.

My last name gave me obvious opportunities for play on it.  I was originally going to go with the Phantastic Four but there were a few things that just didn't feel right-with the biggest one being that we are not a family of four, but a family of five when you include (our very important to us) dog.  I just felt SO guilty leaving him out.  Beyond that, someone mentioned that adding a number is very final and hard to change-while she may have been joking that we might decide to add another kid to the mix, I suddenly became concerned I was tempting fate by declaring a final number.  What can I say-I'm pretty superstitious.

Over the last few days, I've been reading my previous posts and reflecting on what I write about.  I've discussed everything from miscarriage to birth, our travels, the good and difficult in raising children. Falling in love, hardships in long term relationships-I try to include a little bit of everything.  Even if I don't feel it when I'm experiencing it-I realized that when I am writing I always tend to look back with a filter of understanding, with a perspective that I really do have a great life.  Some may even say a fantastic life.

So here is to new starts...here is to The Phantastic Life.

It All Started With a Makeout Mix

Even before our first date, Boyfriend gave me a mix CD titled "Makeout Mix, Volume 1."  I remember thinking that 1)That is very presumptuous to assume we would be making out at some point and 2)He anticipated we would be together long enough to have more than one volume of mixes.

We were just babes when we fell in love.

While we haven't quite gotten to volumes that Now That's What I Call Music has (currently at 55 and counting) we have had quite a few volumes between the two of us.  We even created a special one for our wedding favors, which sadly never got passed out so we had 200 homemade CDs in our garage until their recent demise on the last clean out.

During one of our moves, I had lost the original Makeout Mix and have been trying to recreate it over the last year or so.  It was so frustrating, I listened to that CD literally hundreds, if not thousands of time, but I was having the hardest time remembering all 13 tracks.

Just recently, I remembered the very last track that had been missing and am happy to share with you the Makeout Mix that started it all.

As I listen to each one of these songs, memories come crashing over me-driving around in my Ford Escort blasting Dashboard's Hands Down or listening to Question by Old 97's and wondering if he would use that song for our future proposal (he did).  Each one of these songs are so intrinsically intertwined with the foundation of our relationship, I can't help but feel a bit more love towards Boyfriend when I listen to them.

As much as I love Spotify and all of our electronic options for music, I am so glad that I grew up in the age where the art of wooing a girl could start out with a mixed CD.

First Day of School: Tears, Blood and Teachers Calling Home

So based off my title, it may sound like Evelyn's first day of school was traumatic.  The title may be the slightest bit dramatic, but it definitely wasn't the first day I had hoped for her-that is for sure.

We woke up extra early to make sure Evelyn had enough time to wake up and desire breakfast.  On any weekend day, my kids typically don't want food until at least 10 am so I was worried she wouldn't be interested.  I should have known that just telling her she needed energy for school would get her going right away.

After a pancake breakfast (shared with sister) we got her dressed in her uniform.  She is just so stinking cute! The night before Boyfriend and I discussed where we would take her first day of school pictures, I wanted to do it in the same spot every year.  Originally I didn't want to do the fireplace because I'm praying we don't have that ugly thing for the next 12 years but it was dark outside so its the only spot in the house that seemed to be the right spot. Also, total Pinterest fail on the chalkboard sign, next year will be better!

After we dropped off Penny at daycare, we headed to her school.  Evelyn was bouncing around in her car seat with excitement as my throat was tight and my eyes were stinging with tears.  Evelyn asked me not to cry at school so I wouldn't embarrass her.  Not even officially in school and she was already worried I would embarrass her!

Once we arrived at the building, we had Evelyn walk us to her classroom-surprisingly she remembered exactly where to go (as I totally didn't).  Spoiler alert-this is an important fact later on in the story. We were only the second family to arrive and her sweet homeroom teacher, Mrs. A greeted us enthusiastically and this is where Evelyn deflated like a balloon, shrinking in both personality and size.

We walked her to her desk and she sat, refusing to take pictures with us.  I could tell she was totally overwhelmed, especially as the third student came in and didn't stop talking for one second.  Boyfriend and I stood around somewhat awkwardly, we had only been there for two minutes but both of the other kids parents were gone so we weren't sure if we should leave yet (at this point it was probably still 30 minutes until official school start time) or stick around.  I had no desire to extend an already difficult goodbye, but I also could tell that Mrs. A was preoccupied with attending to other things so I didn't want to leave Evelyn totally alone, unaware of what to do next.

Luckily Mrs. A took charge and advised us we were going to move the girls over to Mrs. T's (her co-teacher) room because she was going to step out and help with directing parents to their classroom.  We walked Evelyn one classroom over and the girls all sat down on a rug, which Evelyn was excited because it was "cute as a button" (the very loose theme I had desired for Penny's birthday).  

Once in the room, they started coloring so I took this as my time to say goodbye.  As I was hugging her sweet body I started to tear up but upheld her request to not cry.  The tears finally broke free as soon as we left the classroom, I could just tell how nervous and shy she was feeling-it broke my heart she was feeling scared.  

Once I got to work, I was feeling better because it would be only a short while before we could pick her up, they are offering early release for Kinder kids this week and all of next week so they get an opportunity to adjust.  Around 11:00 I started to worry about her again, and then my phone started ringing around 11:30, so I suppose it was mom's intuition something was up.  I missed the first and second calls (from different numbers) because I was on a call at work but moments after the second call I had a voicemail, 

"Hi, this is the nurse at Evelyn's school.  She is JUST FINE but I do want to let you know she is experiencing a pretty severe nose bleed and we are working to control it.  Please give me a call as soon as you get this message."

I immediately called back and spoke with the nurse (who was SO nice) and she explained that Evelyn's nose bleed was pretty bad though they finally did get it under control, but all of her clothes, shoes included, were covered in blood so she needed a change of clothing.  I guess it isn't kosher to hang out in blood soaked clothes in school. Boyfriend and I had carpooled in order to do drop off/pick up but my mom was in for the rescue and was able to bring her a change of clothes.

The nurse and I talked for a bit, I explained to her that Evelyn gets nose bleeds, and often.  I apologized for not notifying them earlier but I didn't see a spot where I could fill out generic "need to know" information.  I promised to continue to send her with a change of clothes each day just in case this happens again in the future (which it will, she gets between 3-7 a week).

My mom called after she left, she said Evelyn seemed ok but was pretty sad when she realized that my mom wasn't taking her home.  Evelyn told my mom she was having fun and my mom said that she got her to laugh once (which when she is really shut down, is impossible to do) so I felt much better after speaking with my mom.

Once we pulled up to school, Mrs. A caught us and seemed really scared to talk to us.  I know nosebleeds can seem pretty scary (especially with Evelyn) but I soon realized that she wasn't telling us just about the nosebleed, she was explaining to us what caused the nosebleed to occur.  

I had assumed it was due to playing but apparently during their bathroom break, Evelyn was the last to use the restroom and was left behind by herself so she walked back to her classroom but the entire class was actually down the hall.  She explained to us the circumstances that had allowed this to occur and what is going to be done to make sure it won't happen again but she said that due to this, Evelyn became quite emotional (crying hard) because she thought she was lost and alone and her nose started to bleed.  Mrs. A was obviously devastated and you could tell she felt terrible.

While Boyfriend was a bit upset over Evelyn getting left behind, I wasn't honestly.  First off, it will teach Evelyn to hurry up and stick to her business in the bathroom but second of all-I get things happen.  After talking with Mrs. A I could just feel how poorly she felt and I know it won't happen again.  

Evelyn finally made it to our car and when she saw me she started running and jumped in my arms.  I buckled her in her car seat and before I could even buckle up myself, she was talking about what a fun day she had and she can't wait for her second day of school!  I tried to talk to her about the getting left behind/nosebleed incident and she got a little upset and wouldn't talk about it so I tried to focus on the good stuff, like her learning some new Spanish words and what she saw the other kids eating for lunch.

I'm glad to have the first day over with.  I am excited to see what we have to work hard at and what areas she shines in.  She already decided which girl is going to be her BFF and that she has to have a certain type of chips in her lunch because the other kids were eating them.  Tonight we have our first Spirit Night at Chuck E Cheese, I can't believe we are officially in the world of school!

Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

My baby starts school tomorrow.  I have equally dreaded and looked forward to this and now that we are here I don't know how to feel.

I know the size of your kid doesn't necessarily indicate if they are prepared for something but looking at my teeny, only surpassing the 30 pound mark after a big meal girl just doesn't look like she is ready to start school. 

 

Despite my hesitations, she is embracing this change with an open heart and mind.  Tuesday night was Meet the Teacher night and as we were walking through the seemingly endless hallways, navigating ourselves from classroom to classrom, it hit me what was about to happen.  Evelyn held my hand tightly and I could tell she was nervous but she was being so brave.

As I predicted, Evelyn struggled with meeting her teachers even though she was so excited to meet them.  She shut down a bit (ok, a lot) and refused to talk or even look their way but of course after we had left she told everyone how nice they were and how much she liked them.  I just hope her teachers (Mrs. A and Mrs. T) recognize what a sensitive soul she is and takes care of her heart.  I know that is a very typical mom thing to say, "My daughter is a special snowflake!!" but she is my precious snowflake and I want only the best for her, as any mom would.

I'm having to put a lot of trust into these two women I know nothing about, and it is hard.  Kindergarten is a formative experience and if she walks away this year with distrust and pain, it will take a lot of work to get her to where we are tonight, on the last eve of her naivety, completely and utterly thrilled to be going to school.

Boyfriend and I both took today off to spend her last day as a non-student (EVER!) together.  We had a wonderful day with a new back to school haircut, lunch at her favorite restaurant (Gloria's), Build a Bear and of course, ending the day at her favorite place-Target.

Throughout the day we would be talking and she would just interrupt our conversation with a, "I'm just SO excited!"  We talked about how to make friends and what types of rules she can expect.  We discussed what she wanted to bring for lunch.  She requested turkey, carrots, celery and strawberries-Michelle Obama would be so proud. 

I mentioned in my Dallas Moms Blog post that one of the things that makes me so nervous is that I am losing what little control I had over her environment.  She is going to be introduced to so many wonderful things, but with that comes the things I don't want her to see or experience.  I know I can't shelter her forever, nor do I want to, but five still feels so young to me.

Before getting her to bed tonight, she had to sign a student commitment form for her school.  We read over each bullet point, and it was an opportunity to discuss how to be a good student and person.  She is inspired and as I type this yelling to me that she is just too excited to sleep.

 

I don't think either of us will get much sleep tonight, to be honest.  Tomorrow morning, I am going to take a lesson from my strong girl and put on a brave face.  Hopefully I won't cry too much but I did purchase a brand new waterproof mascara, just in case.

Not a Secret Anymore...

About six months ago, I discovered Boyfriend had been keeping a secret from me.  He had been taking pictures of our life together, without me being aware, and had been posting them for all the world to feast their eyes upon.

Luckily it was just food photos and I was happy to jump on the Just Eat Dallas bandwagon.

I may have reinforced a wife stereotype, because as soon as Boyfriend told me what he was up to I took over because he wasn't doing it the way I would.  To be fair though, he welcomed my partnership and it has been really fun collaborating on something other than our children.

I recently went to a happy hour with other Dallas Foodies and I was asked what our goal was for the account.  Honestly, we have no aspirations for financial gains (but if you want to give us free food, holla at JustEatDallas@gmail.com), we just love talking about the food we eat.

Just Eat Dallas has also gotten us to be more active in our city which is an added bonus.  Instead of going to the same reliably tasty spots, we are hitting up different and new places.  Variety is the spice of life, right?

While we aren't a major Dallas Foodie Instagram account, we have built new relationships with other food lovers in the area and it has been really, really fun.  I'm definitely enjoying our new creative venture and can't wait to see what new food adventures await us.

Daycare Nana

A little over three and a half years ago, our live in nanny abandoned us (she got married and decided she would rather live with her husband than us, rude!) so we had to find another solution for childcare.  At the time, Boyfriend and I were not working traditional schedules and knew we would need to find an individual vs a center with strict hours.  Little did I know contacting a home daycare I saw on Craigslist would be one of the best decisions I ever made.

I was hesitant at first, finding someone off Craigslist because of all the horror stories.  I consider myself a good judge of character and we had just been successful with our live in nanny (found on care.com) that I figured it wouldn't hurt to go at least meet her.  Her driving attraction was location, less than two miles from our home but the moment we met her, I knew she was "the one."

At our first meeting, the grandmotherly (but not old) woman explained to me that the kids she takes care of are her family and everyone calls her, "Nana."  Boyfriend and I laughed, knowing this would make my mom, another Nana, jealous.  Over time, Evelyn started differentiating my mother as "Regular Nana" and the other Nana as "Daycare Nana."  Instead of using her first name, we too have started calling her as Daycare Nana because she is truly the additional grandmother in our lives.

As a former nanny, I really do get how much your charges mean to you.  You love them and adore them and miss them.  Daycare Nana goes a step above the norm and pretty much lives her life around her kids.  She spoils them rotten-she has Santa personally come to her home each December, she bakes each one of them THE.BEST.CAKE.EVER. for their birthdays, she cooks them meals every day based on their preferences.  She is just the best.

One thing all of the parents of the other kids and I agree on is that Daycare Nana doesn't mess around with attitude or misbehavior and I am so appreciative of it.  Sometimes when things are really rough at home, instead of saying, "I'm going to call your father!!" I just have to say, "I'm going to call Daycare Nana" and Evelyn will straighten up real quick.  I wish I had the level of respect and boundaries Daycare Nana has, but I also know that kids will push their mother in that oh so special way.

Daycare Nana is about to have a turn over of several kids, they all start Kindergarten this year.  To celebrate she took them all out to lunch at Gloria's, for popsicles at Steel City and then to Barnes & Noble for each kid to pick out a book.  Evelyn is going to miss seeing her every day so, so much but luckily Penny will still be going to Daycare Nana's so there will still be the occasional visits.

I don't know what Evelyn is going to do without seeing the woman who loves her as much as her blood family does.  She is going to miss her doing her hair, her yummy lunches, and hugs when she isn't feeling well or sad.  The only thing Evelyn is sad about when it comes to school is not going to her house every day.

We love you Daycare Nana!

Allergic to Running, Version Two

This past weekend Boyfriend was meeting some friends to play tennis so the girls and I decided to join him. Evelyn asked Boyfriend to teach her how to play so he patiently taught her some basic skills before his friends came.  Her lessons were totally unlike mine, she was still smiling and looking forward to her next one.  After my first (and only) lesson I was crying and wanted a drink.  Luckily dads can be more patient with their kids than their spouse.

While Boyfriend was playing tennis, Evelyn decided that she wanted to run around the track.  Evelyn took off, running the entire distance of one loop-Boyfriend said it was a quarter of a mile, but no matter what it was I was super impressed.  Penny was devastated she couldn't join her sister.  

I continued to ignore Penny's heartbreak so I could get a selfie with my new haircut.  Bad mom.

                                      

When Evelyn finished (and not even out of breath I might add!) she sat next to me and started scratching.  And the scratching eventually led to her clawing at her skin, all over.  I thought maybe it was the grass so we moved back to the tennis courts and I couldn't see any sort of skin irritation, beyond where her scratch marks were.  Then she started freaking out, slapping her head and screaming that she was itchy from the inside.  I started to get really worried because she was FREAKING OUT.  

I grabbed both kids and told Boyfriend I was going to go get her some Benadryl.  About 20 minutes after taking it she seemed much better and within 30 minutes she passed out.  Boyfriend was done playing tennis by this time and I was telling him about what had happened.  I told him it was just so confusing that she was so itchy when he made a joke about how maybe she was allergic to running like I am.

Once he said that, I knew he was right.  The way she was reacting is exactly the same way I react when I start itching.  It is this deep, internal itch that makes you feel like you are going to lose your mind.  I feel terrible she inherited this, but at least she is my artistic one and may never be all that interested in running distances anyway!

Mommy Daughter Day

This past Monday Evelyn and I played hooky and spent the day together, just the two of us.  I told her we could do anything she wanted to do, she picked swimming and school supplies shopping.  Easy enough!

Originally I was going to take her to a city pool but after finding a coupon for free kids entry with adult purchase for Hawaiian Falls, I decided she would have so much more fun there.  My  hunch was spot on-she had a blast! I had to beg her to stand still for just 30 seconds to take a picture before letting her jump in the water.

While we were at Long Cove the weekend before, she was swimming on her own without a life jacket for the first time.  She can go quite a distance but once she is out of air, she is done.  She haven't quite mastered the skill of being able to get more air to continue on further.  She can swim and float on her back now too, which surprised me considering we hadn't taught her how to do it.

After we swam for several hours she told me she was tired and ready to go school shopping, but first she wanted to relax.  We sat hand in hand next to the pool, eventually she laid on the ground because it was warm and she was freezing.  We stayed there for another 20 or 30 minutes in silence, people watching.

On our way out of Hawaiian Falls, texted Boyfriend at 1:36 pm telling him we were on our way to Target (which was five minutes away) to get her school supplies.  We got there and I should have known how tired she was because she asked to sit in the cart, which is something she never does!

At 3:26 pm, yes nearly two hours later, we were finally checking out.  I don't know if it was because I was a first time school age mom or if it really does take that long but I was so over it by the time I was done. Luckily they had everything I needed except for one thing (apparently bullet point tip, washable dry erase markers are a rare item) so I won't have to go through that again.

Everything we need for her to succeed in Kindergarten.  The My Little Pony blind bag was not included on the supplies list, just an extra for being such an awesome kid. I seriously can not believe that Evelyn is about to start school.

I'm so thankful for these calm days before school starts.  We will have one more this coming Monday, but Penny will be joining us as well.  My oldest girl is just so, so sweet and loving.  As we were leaving Hawaiian Falls, she told me to turn around and drew me a picture with her soaked towel drippings.  

I am so lucky.

#LifeGoals

I love being a contributor for Dallas Moms Blog.  While the relationships I have built with the other moms have been the best part of my experience, there are a lot of built in perks.  Like visiting Long Cove located on Cedar Creek Lake.

Our entire group was invited out for a "day in the life" of a resident.  I left Saturday night scheming with Boyfriend on how we could become actual residents, even if it required buying into 1/10th of a house with ten other couples. Long Cove is truly something unique and you could say I was smitten.

Long Cove isn't far from Dallas-located only far enough for Evelyn to ask me, "Are we there yet?" four times and she normally asks twice on the way to our local Target. I felt immediately transported once we were on grounds, driving through stunning landscaping, complete with three longhorns (that I later learned their names-Betty, Wilma, and Pebbles!) greeting us.

  

As all the contributors gathered around the pool we overlooked the lake and knew we were in for a fun day.  

We enjoyed boat rides, swimming, a fantastic lunch and was provided an opportunity to view one of the model homes.  Can I just move in now?  Seriously?

The community of Long Cove truly thinks of everything for their residents. You truly have the ability to pick up on Friday evening after work and head to the lake.  They will stock your fridge before your arrival and get your boat ready if you own one. They even have a toy barn so that you don't have to worry about bringing recreational equipment to play with.  All you have to do is show up with your family.

Yes, it is not inexpensive (which is why it is a #lifegoal right now for us, not a reality) but the idea of having a home where I can completely put away real life and just BE with my family is priceless.  Cheesy maybe definitely but even with my young kids I am realizing how hard it is to have quality family time, even when we are all home.  There are just too many distractions, too many things that end up on our lap when all I want to do is sit around eating Summer fruits and playing outdoor games at the lake with my kids.

I know that for these PR type events you are often given the best of the best but I can tell you, without a doubt, our experience wasn't just for show.  It was the real deal and it was obvious that all the residents we mingled with felt that every single penny spent on their gorgeous home was worth it, and more.  If you are a little more "established" than my family and looking for a second home for weekend getaways, you couldn't go wrong at Long Cove.

Permission to Blog

A few weeks ago I saw someone post a sponsored post about overnight diapers for older kids.  The post was well written and while it was a sponsored post-I know there are a lot of parents out there who need a product like the one she was describing so I got why she accepted it (well, beyond the compensation).

What stayed with me, after I had read the post, was that she used her five/six year old son as an example and how they personally used the products-her son had bed wetting issues.  Now I personally don't think there is anything to be ashamed of, nor something to make fun of but I have a feeling other six year old boys may not feel the same. And with kids these days (do I sound like an old fuddy duddy yet?) having access to the internet earlier and earlier-it may not be long before his classmates find that blog post.

It made me very conscious of what I post here. It is such a fine line of being an authentic parent who blogs-I want to share my stories and my life but I have to honor my daughter's story as well.  Boyfriend and I have never felt that it was wrong to be so public with sharing our experiences and pictures of our kids.  I don't believe that having pictures of my two year old nudist's butt on the internet will cause her emotional trauma, I don't want to raise my daughter to be the kind of person who let's things like that get under her skin.  I know we have some nature vs nurture that will play into it, but I do have (some) influence.

In my mind though, there is a vast difference between a two year old naked butt and posting a private medical issue.  That line seems very defined and easy for me to distinguish.  But what about the not so clear items-bed sharing situations, discipline problems, educational concerns?  Up until now, I have taken my children's feelings into consideration, there have been some posts I have not made simply because my gut tells me that they may not want that out there.  I suppose the obvious answer is to just ask permission from my kids as soon as they are old enough to understand.

I know how many views I get on this blog per day and while it isn't a super "successful" one by any means-I do have a large handful of daily visitors, I suppose wanting to know what is going on in my life.  For myself and my readers-I want to be real.  I want to talk about the things that so few others do.  The other bloggers out there that post about the harder subjects, sometimes those people are my lifelines-solidarity on knowing someone else is going through something I am (and hopefully how to get through it).  I hope I can inspire other moms like they inspire me.

While I'm still pondering on what is appropriate vs inappropriate I will leave you with this picture of Evelyn.  I don't even have to ask permission, I know her answer because she asked me to take the picture and post it on Facebook so our family could see it.  Which is an entirely different blog in itself.

Life in Bullet Points

Sometimes I don't really have an update worthy of an entire blog post, but I have random happenings that I just want to make note of.  So in honor of that:

* Evelyn starts school in three weeks, two days.  I apparently was supposed to order her school uniforms a week ago, whoops.  I'll get on that this weekend, hopefully.  And if not-well we just will have to keep her home for one more year, fine by me!

* I cut 14 inches of hair off.  I'm a bad blogger and don't have a picture (yet) but will post soon.  I don't know why, but I'm actually surprised at how much lighter my head feels.  (Side note-before I edited this blog, I originally included the disclaimer "off my head" to explain where I cut my hair.  Why I thought that clarification was necessary, I'm not sure-I can't think of any other place you could grow 14 inches of hair and if it were possible otherwise I would NOT admit to that, no matter how open I may be!)

* Also speaking of my hair, I was generously gifted a deluxe sample of Deva Curl line.  I have had curly hair since I was 19 and hardly ever wear it curly.  While I'm still not convinced (especially with my short hair) the after photo of my curls (pre chop) has me almost convinced.  

* I have only been on the Bachelor/ette bandwagon for three or four seasons now but now am an avid "fan."  I find that it is mostly an excuse to have a dedicated night to be lazy on the couch and have something to share with my friends.  While I am excited for Bachelor in Paradise and the ridiculous drama I am SO FREAKING ANNOYED that it is a two night commitment.  This may be where I jump ship.  

*Boyfriend and I have an (expensive) goal to eat at every restaurant at Trinity Groves.  We haven't dined at many yet-Amberjax, Off Site Kitchen and Sugar Skull Cafe, all with a stop at Cake Bar after.  We have been beyond impressed at each spot and can't wait to visit more, especially in the Fall when we eat on the patio and play on the bridge.  

Awww...family photo on the bottom corner

* Boyfriend and I have officially scheduled our first nights away from both girls!  He has a conference in Orlando so I am going to tag along on the front end and we are going to go to Universal Studios.  I'm pretty darn excited! 

* It is almost time for our yearly garage sale.  I've been in the process of decluttering and want to sell/donate everything.  I'm a minimalist on the outside, hoarder in the inside.  So basically my house looks pretty decluttered, until you open drawers and closets.  I think I have hit my breaking point though and just need it gone.

*I'm still sleeping and it is the BEST THING EVER.

Summertime

I love the feel of Summer.  I don't mean the literal feeling-the extreme heat, the inability to cool your internal body temperature after being outdoors for more than five minutes or the mosquitoes that eat me alive the moment I set my feet outdoors.  

What I am referring to is the relaxed pace everyone seems to adhere to (probably because if you risk moving too fast, you have sweat stains for days), the longer nights knowing you can sit in the backyard enjoying the later sunsets (doused in bug spray).  Getting to catch the sunrise each morning as I leave work and getting to experience the beauty of nature with my oldest.

I love the foods of Summer:BBQ, fresh fruits and veggies, ice cream and popsicles.  Sure I can get these foods year round but they taste so much better during Summer.

For the first time ever, our Summer is ending, not because we are entering Fall but because we are starting a brand new season of life-school.  I have such mixed feelings on this, one day I'm excited for Evelyn and the very next hour I'm digging my feet in the sand trying to anchor us to our current life.

These last few weeks of Summer (four to be exact) we will be spending our evenings playing outside in the sprinklers, staying up late watching scary movies (Evelyn's favorite) and taking evening walks to discover all the creatures in our neighborhood.  

Summer may be almost over, but I know we have filled our girls memories with happy times.  Water balloon fights, dinners consisting of only Bahama Bucks Snocones and trips to the splash park, I think I can safely say my girls too, are lovers of Summertime.

Blueberry Pickin

With the exception of last year due to a brand new baby, our family has made it out to Twin Oaks Blueberry Farm to fill up buckets worth of blueberries.

Can we just take a moment to notice how grown up Evelyn looks?

 We woke up abnormally early this past Saturday morning and decided to head out which ended up being perfect, it was just starting to get hot by the time our buckets were full.  Evelyn was really into it this year, taking extreme care to not pull any that weren't ripe.  Penny wasn't quite as picky and would eat any that her tiny fingers could pluck off the bush.

Admittedly it was difficult for Penny to walk around-the bushes are on a slight incline but her sister was more than happy to help her out.  I'm already looking forward to next year's trip to the blueberry farm!

I've Been Keeping Something From You...

And no, it isn't a pregnancy.  Let's just get that out of the way.

The last three weeks, give or take some days, I have gone from getting two hour (at best) consecutive hours of sleep to anywhere between seven to nine.  Literally life changing.

Sometime after Penny's birthday, after another night of only logging a total of three hours I had finally hit my breaking point.  I had maintained that after her birthday I would night wean her, but I quickly realized there was no slowly dropping one session at a time-this girl had to go cold turkey.

On night one, I told Boyfriend I was going to sleep in the guest room and he could stay with Penny.  I hardly slept because I was convinced I could hear her across the room crying.  The second night I decided to move the baby monitor into the room with them so I could hear her crying.  It wasn't so that I could go help-I was going to leave him to figure it out, but I just needed to know.

That night, she woke up several times but only cried for less than ten seconds and then there was only the white noise from the monitor playing in the background.  Each night that passed, she started to sleep longer and longer periods of time until now where we are-five to six hours for the first chunk and then she still wakes every 50ish minutes crying but falls asleep quickly.

Now that I'm finally getting some sleep, I'm trying to figure out how to do the next step-get her into her own bed.  Well, I'm still trying to get Evelyn into her own bed so our plan is for them to share a bed (for now) like above.  I'm scared to make any drastic changes but I want to be in my own bed again, I want to sneak my cold feet against Boyfriend for warmth.

I sometimes wonder if I really needed to wait as long as I did before night weaning her, I know that is what was causing her to not sleep well.  I don't regret it though and believe I was right in waiting since up until her birthday her main source of nutrition really was milk.  It is just now in the last couple of weeks I have noticed she eats (and dang the girl can eat) more than she does drink milk.

Boyfriend says he is ok with dealing with her wakings.  He often tells me the only last five or so minutes, but in reality it is often less than 30 seconds of her crying.  I know when you are waking often like that it seems much longer but he has this magical ability of falling asleep instantly. I am so appreciative he not only takes Mission:Get Baby to Sleep on without complaints, he is seemingly physically fine.

It's funny, not sleeping was my crutch for everything.  Didn't feel like doing chores-I'm tired!  Going through a drive thru-I don't have the energy to cook! Naps every day-well that still happens but I have never given up my naps.

I'm sure Boyfriend will tell you I'm a better person to be around. I physically feel a million times better, I notice I have some energy again.  My laundry, for the first time in literally years (that literal isn't figurative) is down to a manageable one or two loads.  My house stays picked up, it only takes 45 minutes vs a few hours to have the house guest ready.

Even though a year of no sleep was the almost the hardest physical thing I have ever done (breastfeeding Evelyn comes in first) I don't regret it one bit.  I did what I needed to do for my daughter and I'm proud that I made sure her needs came first, as hard as it was.  I have found myself each morning when Boyfriend brings her to me after her first morning waking (after 5 am) I am excited to see her again, to hold her and kiss her because I missed her snuggly self so much.

Of course, now that I have gone public about this I am positive she will up and change everything but at least I got a couple weeks of sleep, right?

Short Shorts

It was 12 years ago this month that I signed up for an Express credit card, influenced by the BFF so we could buy matching terry cloth outfits.  I remember feeling so cute in my short shorts with a matching short sleeve zipper jacket, I loved them so much I purchased several sets in multiple colors. 

Those terry cloth outfits were my summer uniform in 2003.  I was a lifeguard and swim instructor and when not working, I was swimming with my friends or brand new boyfriend.  These outfits were perfect to throw on over my swimsuit and get going to the next place.

I've lost all but one pair of the shorts, the black ones above.  Parts of the shorts are so thin and strained, I've lost the drawstring and one of the metal eyelets has gone missing.  Yet I still love these shorts and wear them often (at home).

They are much more fitted than they were a decade ago, but magically they still hang around my hips as they did in the early years.  These shorts symbolize the start of my relationship with Boyfriend, I remember how he would touch the material and tease me that I was wearing a literal towel outfit. I have memories of him jokingly (or not) hiking them up around my waist so he could get a better view of my butt.

I was wearing these shorts when we decided that we would be together forever, laying on the couch talking about our future children and what our home would look like.  I was wearing these shorts when my father had a stroke and I cried in Boyfriends arm's for the first time.  I was wearing these shorts when my father lectured Boyfriend about us spending "alone time" together.

Sometimes I get frustrated with myself over how I hoard certain things, especially if the item can recall a multitude of emotions.  I'm trying to be better, I've consolidated my two bursting closets into one, organized one.  I throw away tshirts that are no longer wearable, I donate clothing that I just can't/won't wear.

But these ratty shorts, the ones that are too short to wear in public-they mean too much to me to get rid of so until I can no longer fit in them or the rip apart they will continue to be found in my laundry basket.

Walking the Tightrope

In 50 days Evelyn starts Kindergarten. We agonized over which path we should take with school-the Gifted and Talented program through our local school district or a charter school where we felt very confident in the program after doing a lot of research and speaking to parents of students.  After a lot of thought and research (and a few gut checks) we enrolled Evelyn as a Kindergarten student at the charter school.

It was a major decision for us, and we believe we made the right choice.  A couple of weeks ago we drove Evelyn by her new school and she was in total awe.  Evelyn is so excited to start school, she wants to learn, eat lunch in the cafeteria and do homework.  Not sure how long her unabridged excitement will last, but for now we encourage every moment.

On our way home, we rolled the windows down and she stuck her hand out the window, belly laughing at the wind passing between her fingers.  Her arm suddenly seemed so small, just the tips of her fingers were hanging out the window.  I glanced at her and then back at the school and the weight of what was to come in just a few short weeks overcame me.

In just a couple of weeks I am going to walk up my tiny girl, whose backpack will swallow her from shoulders to knees, up the stairs of a massive school building with impressive white columns to her first day of school.  She will enter her first classroom totally unprepared for what will come and while she will be scared she will put on the bravest face she can muster.

I can feel that we are moving across the tightrope of early childhood and childhood, with slight dips on both sides until ultimately, this Fall, we have left the early stage.  So that night, I just sat and watched her giggling without abandon at her fingers slipping through the warm air knowing that everything is about to change but appreciating the moment for what it is now.

Penny Lea is One!

I really struggled with Penny's birthday.  I wrote this the night before her birthday, hours before I rocked her as the clock turned to midnight, tears running down my face over my baby not being a baby anymore.  I finally fell asleep but jolted awake at 5:05 the next morning, the exact time she had been born one year prior.

As wistful as I had been the prior evening, I woke up with happiness in my heart and was so excited to celebrate my little girl.  

We had a small party at my mom's house with strawberry cake and friends.  It was the perfect one year old birthday party--short and sweet, just like her.

I know you shouldn't compare your kids but it is actually one of my favorite things to do as a mom of two.  I love seeing the differences and the similarities.  At one, Penny has a much bigger and demanding personality than her sister did at her age.  She is the sweetest girl-making sure that if she offers a kiss to one family member, every other family member around gets a kiss only to start a contagion of kisses. 

To balance out her kind side, she can flip a switch and show true anger.  Mostly directed at her sister, this tiny 17 pound package holds her own and makes sure that no one takes advantage of her.  I have never seen something so little make such an angry noise and face, I try not to smile but can't help it.

Like her sister, she loves to make people laugh.  If she catches us laughing at something she does, she will repeat it over and over again to illicit a chuckle.  If we dare not laugh at her performance, she will cock her head back, laughing, to make sure we know she is still being funny.

The bond she and her sister share is incredible.  I knew it was likely they would grow up close, but had no idea their relationship would already be so deep, so early.  Just in the past few weeks I have witnessed Penny trying to do everything just like her sister and it makes Evelyn so stinking happy. Hopefully the harmony lasts!

The last year was full of adjustments, tears of frustration and sleepless nights. It was worth every moment of genuine love, pure happiness and hearts that are completely content knowing that Miss Penny Lea has completed our family.

Father's Day Recap: Beaches, Cajun Greek and Fecal Matter

Before I recap last Sunday, Evelyn made a One Day video for Boyfriend.  I love One Day videos because somehow they always seem to highlight our best attributes as parents.

Boyfriend expressed that he would like to spend Father's Day on the beach so we took our toot smelling, Avenger playing guy down to Galveston for a day in the surf and sun.

In actuality-we woke up at 6:00 am for our 7:30 am flight with it pouring rain.  I checked the weather in Galveston and saw that it wasn't expected to rain and the storm was rapidly leaving Dallas.  I hadn't packed our bag yet (we were just flying down for the day) so I ran around grabbing swim suits, towels and some TSA approved snacks.  

We left the house a little after 6:30 and I realized we weren't going to make it but I knew there was another flight leaving at 8:00 if we didn't.  Somehow though, we arrived at the gate at 7:15 and we were able to easily find two rows in front of each other with window seats open (when you travel with car seats, you are required to have the car seat next to the window).  

We picked up our rental car from Enterprise (my favorite car rental company) and started our drive down to Galveston.  We always rent the cheapest car-typically an Economy class and it has never been a problem before but Evelyn was freaking out because Boyfriend was practically in her lap since we were driving in a Scion.  Going forth, we may just spend the extra few dollars to get a full size car to avoid those meltdowns. 

Once at the beach, we just stopped at the first open spot along the seawall.  We set up a tent for shade which also doubled as a private space for us to change into our swim suits.  Evelyn immediately ran down to the ocean and started playing-I took just a few pictures but then put the phone up and didn't bring it out again until several hours later when we were leaving.

Both girls were obsessed with the water.  Penny just loved covering herself with the wet sand and splashing, Evelyn ran around jumping over waves and splashing her daddy.  I've heard the saying, "day at the beach" in reference to a really great day and I understand why-we just played together and enjoyed being there.

After awhile we were getting hot and hungry so we decided to pack up for lunch with intentions to do round two of beach time after.  Boyfriend had asked a high school friend for some lunch recommendations and one of them was called Cajun Greek.  I couldn't quite wrap my head around the concept but Boyfriend was intrigued and since it was Father's Day, we deferred to his preference.  

It happened to be a really wise choice (and recommendation) because we enjoyed our lunch immensely.  I didn't quite get the Cajun vibe other than the fact that their seafood had a blackened option.  I had a really tasty salad and tzatziki with pita.  Boyfriend really enjoyed his fresh fish-if you are in Galveston and looking for something a bit different definitely the place to go.

We were going to head back to the beach for a couple more hours but after seeing that both girls looked like they were about to pass out from exhaustion we decided to get some ice cream and then head back to the airport.  We went to La King's Confectionery  and we also let Evelyn pick out some candy to bring home.  Penny seemed a bit (or a lot) jealous she couldn't have any.

Both girls immediately fell asleep as we drove back to the airport.  I even found myself nodding off which I felt a bit guilty for-I know Boyfriend was tired and would have appreciated a Father's Day nap but he was driving.  We made it to the airport just in time for the 6:00 pm flight and Boyfriend did get to take his nap on the flight home.  

Our trip was just over 12 hours total but so much fun.  I love having my flight benefits and getting to go to the beach, just for the day.  Unfortunately, just a few days later Galveston beaches tested high for fecal matter so I don't know how soon we will be making the trip again.  I know Galveston waters are brown but when someone was quoted to say that swimming in the beach was equal to swimming in a toilet, well that is a little bit too much imagery for me!