It Can Wait

I feel like almost every parent has a picture of their kid pretend driving their car.  Baby is obsessed with having her moments in the front seat.  Maybe because she is still rear facing in her carseat, but the moment she gets a chance to hop in the front seat you can see her growing imagination going wild.  

It is the little moments like this that I realize she observes much more in her backseat mirror than I realize.  She will adjust the rear view mirror, buckle up and start to shift.  She turns her delicate body backwards pretending to back up and then whips around and moves the gear once more, swinging her head backwards making a low, "Vroooooom" noise. 

Cars petrify me now.  I am already feeling anxious about the days when her feet will finally touch the pedals, when she will not just be pretending but actually backing out of our driveway.  I feel like the roads have become more dangerous in even just the last nearly 15 years that I have been driving.   

Talking and texting have become the norm while driving.  I make a conscious effort to not text (but am not immune, of which I am ashamed).  Something has to give between now and her driver's test and I just pray it isn't the lives of others.  

This morning when driving to work, a car nearly crossed the median into my lane.  We weren't going fast, I could see the person looking down, not paying attention.  Nothing physical happened, they adjusted their car and I moved over a lane safely but emotionally it jolted me.  

I am not the best driver, I didn't even take real driver's education.  Boyfriend hates the way I drive (which should be his clue to never ask me to drive!) because he feels I am too absent minded.  And maybe I am, but I hope that I take with me the way I felt this morning and carry it with me going forward.  I want to continue my healthy habits and finally make sure that my phones locked screen remains on until I have arrived to my destination.

If I can't do it for myself, I need to do it for her.  Her behaviors are learned from mine, and I never want to risk her life (now or in the future) just because it couldn't wait. 

It Can Wait