#2

Now that Boyfriend has shared the news that we are expecting #2, I thought I might update on how I have been doing.  Another spoiler alert-not so hot.  

  I have my good days and bad days but just like with Baby, I am feeling nauseated pretty much all day.  This pregnancy I have had the joy of actually waking up through the night because I am feeling so sick which is an extra bonus.   I also think my body remembered what the end of my pregnancy was last time and just decided to jump start all symptoms that I experienced in the last trimester.  I wake up hourly at night because my hips feel like they are being crushed by my soft bed.  I have round ligament pain of death every time I sneeze or cough, convincing me that quick motion caused my entire stomach wall to tear apart.  Boyfriend likes to test out my (lack of) bladder control by scaring the literal pee out of me.   Emotionally I am crabby and crazy-my rational mind can hear myself being a crazy woman and no matter how hard I try and tell myself to shut up (because stories of my temporary insanity will last long after #2 is here) I just can't.   I know that I sound extremely whiny, and I am a lot of the time.  But I am also extremely appreciative and grateful that I even have the opportunity to be here again.  After loss, you realize just how fragile a pregnancy could be.  I know how lucky I am, and despite all my complaining-I don't ever for a second let myself forget that the only reason I am experiencing the bad is because of the amazingly good that will be here come June.